That's the way the crouton crumbles.

The next day.

The most torturous thing about high school-besides the fact that its High School-is the fact that for five days in a row, you have to wake up at the crack of fucking dawn, present yourself for the outside world, and then deal with hormonal retards who think the world revolves around them and you should bow down in admiration as if they’re some form of Adonis all before noon.

If that isn’t a legal torture session that our parents pay for, I don’t know what is.

So there Kody sat in her homeroom before class started, staring off into space as she chatted with Evan about the cruel intentions of the government to put people through such a thing, when Mr. Heinrich barged right in as clumsy as ever and flung papers throughout the entire classroom.

Adjusting his bottle cap glasses, the hopeless-and balding-teacher rushed around and picked up as many of the papers as he could find before giving up and going over to his desk with a stack of wrinkled papers askew.

“Today class…um…we um, we have a new student” he stuttered out and everyone (Even Kody) ignored him like he wasn’t even there and continued their own conversations amongst themselves.

“I wonder how fun it’d be to have lasers in your eyes like that guy from Xmen”

It’s all fun and games until someone light sabers your dick off.

“I guess that’d be the time to ask ‘Was that too far?’ “

Yeah, I would say so.

“Hello everyone, I’m Felix” a males voice she’d never heard before spoke up and she turned her head to see a rather cute and tall curly blonde guy wearing a cardigan and a plain white tee awkwardly standing by Mr. Heinrich’s desk.

The females in class zeroed in on him like some sort of demented alien homing beacon and the poor guy looked like he was about to bolt out of the room screaming in fear.

“He’s hot, let him sit next to you”

It would save him the rapey stares…eh, why not.

Flinging her hand up in the air and waving it around until she got Mr. Heinrich’s attention, she quickly shouted out “I have a seat next to me for him to sit” and the look of relief that appeared on the teacher’s face almost made her laugh as Felix walked over hesitantly to sit next to her.

Leaning over closer to him from the gap in their desks, Kody tapped his shoulder until he looked at her and reassured the guy. “Don’t worry; they’ll leave you alone if you sit next to me” with a wink.

He gave her a confused expression and with the close proximity she noticed that his eyes were a really unique shade of green she’d never seen before.

“How ‘bout we blow this shindig and take him for a ride?”

Shut it, you make it difficult to talk to people.

“I do? Honey, you’re the one with the voice inside your head”

Low blow dude, really low blow

Realizing he was still staring at her, Kody shook her head and mumbled that he’d find out soon enough and returned to sitting in her seat properly so that she could continue staring out of the window like she was doing prior to his arrival for the rest of the hour.

After Homeroom was English with Mr. Martin of which happened to be her favorite class because he was the only teacher that didn’t think she was clinical…well, except the Physics teacher, Mr. Jefferson, but he was just plain batshit himself.

She noticed Felix had a different class than her when Homeroom ended and he took off in the opposite direction so she didn’t bother with talking to him, knowing he’d find out that she was insane before he even found his locker, meanwhile she and Evan were arguing over if the boy was cute or not as she found her seat and plopped down with a grunt.

 “Admit it, that boy’s jawline makes you tingle in places you didn’t know existed”

Excuse me; I know where my vagina is, unlike you who doesn’t even have one.

“You went right for the balls on that one, didn’t you?”

You started it.

“You know wha-“Good morning class, I’m your new English Teacher Dorian Slavic” Yet another new voice she didn’t recognize interrupted the mental dispute and had gained her attention.

Standing in front of the desk that used to be Mr. Martins, a tall man with gorgeous shoulder length curly brown hair that fell to the collar of his maroon dress shirt, a fantastic sharp jawline and pale moss green eyes that were trained right on Kody’s very own green eyes.

“Rude bitch interrupts us and then stares? Tch, what a dick”

Why is he staring at me? DUDE, WHY IS HE STARING AT ME?

“Hell if I know, now chill the fuck out”

How can I be calm when Captain Mc’hunky pants is staring at me!

“I’m sure all of you are wondering about Mr. Martin, and he’s just fine, he simply decided that he wanted a change and quit yesterday” Mr. Slavic announced, breaking eye contact with Kody finally and letting her breathe normally to turn and write his name on the board.

Looking around to see if anyone noticed she only saw all the girls in the class staring in awe at Mr. Slavic while all the men were glaring daggers at the poor guy, but thankfully no one noticed the scene.

Turned around, Kody got a nice view of his behind in those charcoal trousers that seemed to be perfectly tailored to his ass like a fine piece of silk, hugging and accentuating his rear-end in all its glorious fashion.

He spun around and held a knowing smirk as if he knew she was looking, no, scratch that. Gawking at his ass and admiring its beauty as he addressed the class.

“I don’t see it”

How can you not?

“I dunno, I just don’t”

Whatever, he’s fine as hell and I’d smash him harder than hulk on Harlem.

“You’re so hilarious”

Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

The class itself went by way too quickly for her liking, cutting her gawking short and ending up making her grumble about not caring if it’s illegal to jump on him, she’d be okay with the jail sentence.

Her bag over her shoulder and an irritated grimace on her face, she didn’t even realize the entire classroom had filed out in her daze, leaving her and Professor Bubble butt alone in the room.

Stomping off towards the door, she was intercepted by said professor with a mischievous smile on his lips standing way too close to her personal bubble for her opinion. “Miss Grey, is it?” Swallowing the sarcasm, she nodded.

“If you have any questions, I’m always free” he reached up and brushed her hair behind her shoulder from where it was blocking her cleavage from her tank top, nearly making her ninja the shit out of him in surprise.

With a smirk he stepped aside and let her pass by so that she could leave the room and its sudden warmth.

“We all know what’s hot right now, and it ain’t the room”

Fuck you.

“No, fuck him”

STAHP!

~

When lunch came around, Kody picked up the few edible things she saw and went over to her usual table to sit and eat in as much peace as someone who hears voices in her head and listens to hip hop music about big booty bitches could.

“I swear I saw that pasta thingy crawling”

It did.

“Oh god”

Chuckling out loud at the terror in her voice, Kody was surprised when a lunch tray was placed on the table followed by the new kid from homeroom with his adorable cardigan sleeves pushed up to his elbows.

She must’ve had a unique expression on her face because he explained before she even said anything. “I heard the rumors and I honestly don’t care, besides, all the girls here keep stalking me and while my ego’s happy, I’m getting worried they’ll rape me”

She barked a laugh and nearly choked on a crouton from her Ceaser salad; she quickly chugged down some of her water and blinked back the tears that threatened to spill over from the pain.

Doing nothing to hide his laughter, Felix practically cackled at her and received a surprise kick to the shin in response. However, that only added to the fire and he was laughing even harder at the bitch face she gave him.

“If you keep laughing I’m gonna go tell those girls over there that you’re not wearing any underwear”

Humor completely gone, he picked up his fork and took a bite of his salad without so much as another giggle. Feeling accomplished, Kody decided now was as good a time as any to start asking him about his previous life.

“More like interrogate”

SILENCE!

“So, where’re you from?” she pushed her tray aside and folded her hands on the table, waiting for a reply. “Here, you?” he took another bit of his salad and pushed his tray away with a grimace.

“Same, why’d you come to this school?”

“I used to live in Manchester, but my Dad got a job out here so we moved”

“Ah, got any siblings?” she took a sip of her water and raised her brow. He shook his head. “Nope, just my Dad and I”

“Any medical problems I should know about?”

“None, however I do get a bit woozy when I run”

“Good to know”

“How about you?”

“I’m insane, remember?”

“Isn’t Sane a place in Canada?”

She flapped her hand and laughed at the joke. “Oh, nice pun”

“So besides hearing voices, what do you do in your free time?

“First, its Voice, there’s only one person, and second, as you can see my social skills are in full bloom and I’m such a hit with the cool kids” she gestured to the table for proof and he snorted.

“Sarcasm is your native language, I see”

“I also know asshat and gangster” she stated proudly.

“I love cultured people”

They spent the rest of lunch talking about what they like to do and where they’ve lived, she found out he’d moved around a lot as a kid and never really socialized properly, so he turned to reading and video games to amuse himself as a child.

They actually had a lot in common-Neither was really good with people, they both loved the same books and games, they live around the block from each other, and they both even hate cooked Carrots.

They had the potential to be great friends, yet there was this weird feeling that she knew him from somewhere but for the life of her she couldn’t place where and it’d started driving her crazy (Oh, the puns) with the need to figure it out.

After lunch they’d separated for class and agreed they’d meet up at his locker to walk home together when school ended, waving goodbye to each other Kody stared at nothing in particular as her body went into autopilot down the halls.

A new student, a new English and History teacher, what the fuck is next, a new neighbor?

“Don’t jinx yourself, you already have terrible luck”

No shit, with my luck, you’re not even a real person and I’ve just been talking to myself all this time.

“I better fucking not be, if I am I’ll fucking lose my shit”

How? You wouldn’t exist.

“Oh I fucking would, at least after I got hold of whoever the fuck made me”

And this is why I fear you ever getting a body.

“Only this?”

Nah, this is just one of many.

“Oh nice, you have a list”

It’s more like a novel, really.

“Fuck you”

Yeah, I love you too.

She was still irritated that she couldn’t place where she knew Felix from, but she let it die down and instead focused on what she was going to do that evening when her Uncle came over for dinner.