Persona

Author note: Written for a request at the snk kink meme.

During dinner at another night at the training camp, Jean stuffed his mouth with pieces of bread. Usually his eyes would be on his food or even the person talking to him, but even Marco had lost Jean’s attention tonight. Falling silent, Marco nudged Jean a little and told him it was rude to ignore others. He wasn’t exactly bothered when Jean ignored him once more and pointed with his spoon to the table to their right. With his voice lowered, the man voiced his thoughts.

“Isn’t it odd that Bertholdt and Reiner are always together?” he asked. His eyes never left the pair as they ate and talked like the others. His stare was intense as if he could see far beyond their outer layer if gazing long enough.

Marco craned his neck, looking past Jean and watching them with mild curiosity. “It isn’t odd to stick with someone whom you get along with – just like at us” Marco said pointing out the fact that like Reiner and Bertholdt, he and Jean ate, slept and trained side by side, every single day.

“They’re different” Jean protested instantly.

Marco released a sigh and resumed eating, allowing Jean to speculate whatever. “You’re just seeing things; Reiner takes good care of everyone, why wouldn’t Bertholdt want to befriend Reiner well?”

“Ah yes, a true role model, tche..” he mumbled unconvinced.

Having lost his appetite Jean lowered his spoon and stirred his chunky potato soup. Perhaps if Marco had seen them like he had, his understanding would be better. To speak of the conversation and near quarrel between the giant trees of their training squad made him as nervous as he had been when overhearing them several days prior.

After a long day of increasing muscles and improving stamina, Jean still felt too pumped up to join the others in their dorm and take it easy before their supervisor ordered them to sleep. So instead he went for a leisure walk, hands pocketed and eyes sneaking glances at the women’s dorm occasionally. Sneaking a peek at Mikasa when she wasn’t in their normal outfit sounded tempting enough to make him forget about the punishment he’d receive if caught in the act.

“Stop this!” a sudden voice penetrated Jean’s mischievous thoughts and startled him, making him believe he was being scolded already. But no; when looking around he found no one near who could have addressed him. It calmed him slightly, was it not for the fact that those two words had sounded more like a plea rather than an order. He ventured further away, towards the trees surrounding their camp, as if lured by the sounds of struggle.

With squinted eyes he spotted two silhouettes or large men, one pressing the other against a tree. Upon stepping closer the moonlight shone through the branches and illuminated them, allowing Jean to identify the duo and what they were up to at this hour. Part of him expected to find them releasing sexual tension as many of their male comrades did – supposedly without anyone noticing. The sight of Bertholdt’s flustered, sweaty face had him turning around quickly. He wanted no part of this, but the sound reaching his ears was not a moan of pleasure. He was familiar with that noise, the sound of fighting for your life. Snapping his head back, his eyes widened watching Bertholdt tilt his head back and struggle to breathe. Around his neck were Reiner’s large, rough hands squeezing tighter with every little sound that managed to escape Bertholdt’s throat.

“I don’t want to hear you questioning me again” Reiner told the other. “I know what we´re here for!” The sneer on his face softened when Bertholdt kept silent and nodded his head in understanding. As the grip on his throat decreased, oxygen returned to his lungs and he spent the next few seconds panting harshly, wheezing and coughing softly.

Meanwhile Jean noticed he was clutching the tree where he hid behind, his nails digging into the bark. He was not only stunned but seemingly paralyzed by the sheer amount of hostility Reiner had emitted. Reiner and Bertholdt never fought, never truly argued to the point they insulted each other let alone use violence. Therefore his mind couldn´t comprehend the fact he had just witnessed Reiner chocking Bertholdt to the point he feared the tall man would slid down the tree lifelessly. Bertholdt looked relieved by Reiner’s words more than breathing properly again, showing the other an apologetic look as if he had asked for the rough treatment in the first place. Reiner, equally, showed a more familiar expression and slowly his tense shoulders loosened and relaxed. Whatever had ticked him off was now at the back of his mind. He reached for Bertholdt’s throat once more and lightly caressed the red, agitated skin. There was no flinching, no stepping back from the violent side Reiner had shown and could return to any instant. His hand eventually stroked his cheek.

“M-my bad.. I got carried away” Reiner said in a form of apology, head lowered in shame.

“It doesn’t hurt” Bertholdt responded gently.

“Hn..” was his only reply.

The tight embrace shared between both men left Jean speechless as he finally decided to flee the scene. Reiner didn’t strike him as a man with anger management issues – but that look on his face, the veins appearing on his arms while he squeezed his throat tightly – Jean broke out into a sweat remembering the frightening spectacle. It was suddenly difficult to view Reiner as their ‘older brother’, the one who reassured others during the hardships of their training, and the one who occasionally stopped him whenever he was in a fight with Eren. Thinking those hands and that strength could snap his neck in the blink of the eye felt nerve-wrecking.

Therefore how could he not stare quizzically, cautiously, as Reiner swung an arm around Bertholdt’s neck during dinner, the same neck he had been chocking? By now no one commented on their proximity no more – safe for Conny who enjoyed taunting the duo by comparing them to lovestruck puppies. Reiner’s face screw up momentarily at the comparison, but none of that anger Jean saw was present. There were also no marks on Bertholdt’s neck, and no unusual tension between them as they looked at each other and talked without a care in the world.

Bringing his spoon to his mouth, Jean bit down on the metal and began doubting himself. Had it been an illusion or was Reiner not the man they thought him to be?

A sudden wave of heath disturbed his concern, his voice screaming in terror at the burning sensation of someone’s soup on his lap. Eren didn’t even blink when Jean began spouting insults and accusations while Marco begged him to calm down. “You become such a savage whenever Eren crosses your path” the man said exaggerating the fact as he handed Jean a cloth to pat his pants with. Flicking his tongue in disagreement, Jean caught Reiner’s curious eyes for a moment. The man made sure he didn’t need interfere once more and then simply looked away, resuming the small talk. Jean grit his teeth seeing the two of them laugh and flung the cloth to the table, sitting down once more.

Perhaps he had imagined things – he had been caught off guard and shock must have emphasized Reiner’s loss of control for a rage of blinded fury. Yes, that was it, Jean thought unable to take his eyes off the man’s grinning face.