iii. glances, stares and calm voices

she moved with

shamless wonder,

the perfect creature 

rarely seen.

The fly was without exaggeration the shittiest she ever was on. Having to listen to kids yelling right and left while their parents did absolutely nothing to make them stop, be a witness to some drama a couple or two had going on wasn’t what she had in mind when she first boarded the plane, believe it or not. Cerise regrets not having accepted Brandon’s offer of giving her his private airplane to take her to Virginia, especially when not even after those horrendous hours the pain disappeared.

She leans her head on the window of her right as she watches her surroundings changing with each kilometer passed. She finds something relaxing in it and something nostalgic that makes her chest contract painfully the moment her thoughts take a turn for the worst, making her walls of positivity crumble to the ground in a mess of stone and lies. Cerise shakes her head, deciding to take her mind off the things that end up hurting her and plays with the zipper of her leather jacket, her favorite one that she had stolen from her brother’s closet while he was away on a trip with his college mates.

Truth be told, she is anything but enthusiastic with this break. She doesn’t have the energy in her to meet new people and be willing to create bonds with them, or try and find a place of her own in their little world without getting affected by the cliques established long before they even knew she existed. Such things are for people with a lot of time and patience and she’s nothing like that. But her loyalty for Brandon makes her sigh and give it a chance, make her clench her teeth and make a battle plan for when she will finally meet her new acquaintances. Nothing could be worse than that trip to Russia she took a few years back that ended with her in a basement along with some really fucking creepy shapeshifters that thought she was the last one to carry the royal lineage of the Romanov’s. That, without a doubt, remains her worst and most interesting adventure. She can’t say she resents herself for going there or for accepting the offer of staying in one of her cousin’s apartments in the Red Square for memories were made and she had more stories to tell when all of her gang gathered for a round of beers in a restaurant.

Cerise badly wishes that she won’t get sucked in the supernatural drama the folks got going on while at the same time craves for some adventure, for some adrenaline and thrill to pump in her veins and make her choke on her own words, to make her writher in her own bed because she can’t stay still with the impending danger knocking on her door. She’s the one that flirts with Death in the morning and kisses it goodbye at night before she falls to her knees and worships some kind of God that never answers to her prayers, fact that never once before made her faith falter.

“Zach, right?” She nods in the way of the driver Brandon assigned to take her to Mystic Fall. “How much till we reach our destination?”

“Just a couple of hours. It all depends on the traffic, ya know?” Oh, she knows.

Cerise returns to her previous actions, leaning her head against the window without staring at her surroundings and playing with whatever is in her fingers’ reach. This is gonna be a fucking long trip. Might as well take a nap to make sure she won’t snap the first time she meets Brandon’s friends.

//

Caroline is about to get an aneurysm. She’s tapping her foot impatiently against the wooden boards of the floor, hands clasped together and resting on her knees as she waits for the minutes to pass by, to turn to hours. She’s aware of the annoyed looks she’s given, completely aware of the fact that the sound is bothering the majority of her friends that are with her in the room, thanks to their acute hearing they got when they turned into vampires, but she just can’t contain her excitement. There’s a possibility her life will turn into something much more, there’s room for something new and she isn’t going to act unaffected by the idea.

She’s tempted to allow the scowl that threatens to break on her face be visible when she looks around the room and notices the amused expressions she’s given. For some reason, the reactions for her friends anger her, make her feel something negative bubble in her throat. They’re acting unimpressed, as if they’re not at all curious about the identity of Brandon’s friend, Brandon who had fought alongside them, who didn’t talk once about his life or his friends and who suddenly popped up in their lives and announced the arrival of a dear friend of his who needs housing and company. The hypocrisy they are displaying in front of her eyes is something she shouldn’t be surprised of. She can’t, however, stop her body from reacting.

Caroline decides against voicing out her thoughts, resuming to scoffing and turning her head away from them, looking at the clock for the nth time that evening and trying to not think so much about the slow pace at which time passes, making her be filled with so much curiosity and dread, she’s afraid it might spill from her head and drown her, transform into an anchor and drag her to the bottom of the pit her ribcage is.

She doesn’t have time to process what’s happening around her, or with her, when she hears the doorbell ring, breaking the eerie silence the house was previously enveloped in, for she hears a heartbeat, smells something so sweet, she jumps from the couch and is in seconds to the door, almost pulling it out of its hinges when she opens it, the biggest smile on her face.

At last, the guest is here.

//

The first thought that crosses Cerise’s mind the moment she slams the door of the car shut is that this house would be absolutely perfect to film a horror movie in. The type of architecture the town of infecting your nightmares uses, throwing threatening shadows on the ground and screaming danger with each creek. She is, for the fifth time in the last hour, doubting her friend’s decision and capability of making a good decision.

She has to force herself to take a mouthful of air, to feel her lungs with air and to make her heart beat at a slower pace, for she is afraid it might jump out of her chest the moment she will take her first step towards the house she direly hopes won’t be the one to call home during her break. She lets her eyes roam around the property, allowing them to get used to the explosion of colours, crunching her nose at the million scents filling her nostrils, tickling them. She appreciates the fact that is surrounded by nature, making everything seem less gloomy, if she dares say.

She doesn’t dwell on the details for much longer, in fear she might turn away, get back in the car and demand to be taken back to the airport. That’s not something Brandon would be happy with, she knows. Considering how much he had prepared for this, she has to give his friends a chance before making any useless assumptions and coming out with the most terrifying scenarios.

It takes her almost twenty steps, five deep breaths and three clenching of her fists to reach the doorsteps of the mansion. She hesitates a little before pressing her forefinger against the bell, waiting patiently for somebody to open the door for her, which proves itself to be something she shouldn’t have done for she almost falls on her back when the door is opened with such force she’s afraid the person might be the one staring at God. Instead, she is faced with a petite blonde, smiling and screaming perfection and classiness from head to toe, the kind of woman you expect to see coming out of an expensive pent in the heart of the busiest cities of the world.

Cerise smiles back, the corners of her mouth curling upwards and gives the woman a little wave, as awkward as her entire approach, not quite knowing what to do. She expected them to take a little longer to answer the door, to give her some time to come up with a strategy, to form coherent sentences. She should’ve thought that they were vampires and that Brandon wouldn’t have bonded with humans (he always insists on reminder her she’s the solely exception that reinforces the rule; she can only roll her eyes every time and shut him up with a prompt punch to the shoulder that doesn’t quite harm him but surely gives her the boost of satisfaction she needs).

“Uhm, hi!”

Great, she thinks, making sure her smile doesn’t falter, that was the most brain-wrecking thing you could’ve come up with, huh? Glorious.

She doesn’t have time to reprimand herself for her tactless action, because the woman wraps her fingers around her wrist and drags her into the house, closing the door behind them both with such force, she’s absolutely sure the wall shook for a second. She worries for a second there that the ceiling will collapse on them, before she is met with enough pairs of curious eyes to make her shit her pants, not having expected this many people to await her. She will surely murder Brandon or at least inflict the maximum amount of pain the next time she meets him, to get back at him for having left out crucial details.

“Hi” she repeats, afraid for a second that they didn’t hear her and for lack of a better approach.

Aaand—she’s still incapable of properly functioning, only further reinforcing the idea that once she’s surrounded by unknown people who have no business with her, her social skills fail her. She should really consider taking some classes in that department once she’s back in her homeland, close to the spotlights and the screaming fans and close to her friends she surely knows she has to put no act for them.

But until that is going to be a possible feat, she will have to grit her teeth and hope for the best.

//

Caroline is bouncing, or at least close to doing so. The petite woman, although extremely awkward and shy is everything she had imagined her to be the first time she heard of her coming to town. She’s not the tallest one she has seen, but she appreciates the length of her legs that are beautifully cladded in some mountain boots she’s pretty sure costs a fortune, the kind you see in magazines and clench your jaw tightly when you look inside your wallet.

She has an oval face, big doe-eyes that reflect the emotions of those in the room religiously, oceans spilling from the corners of them, showing exactly how the world is going. Care makes a mental note to compliment her on them as a way to strike a conversation, slowly building it up to something much more intelligent and consistent.  

She can feel her hesitation, taste her shyness on the rooftop of her mouth. She decides to somehow encourage her by softly placing her hands on her shoulders, pushing her forward a little bit. Caroline gives Cerise a sheepish smile when she jumps slightly at the contact, turning her head and throwing her a questioning look. She can understand where she’s coming from, not finding her actions weird at all. They’re all strangers to her and she’s a stranger to them, but they’ve got each other to ease the mood and make sure they don’t embarrass themselves too much whilst she has absolutely no one. The fact that they are supernatural beings who mostly depend on the blood of those still breathing doesn’t really work in their favour,  either.

She stifles the giggle that threatens to come out when she hears her talking, throwing a very angry glare in Damon’s direction, who, had the audacity to fucking scoff at the newcomer. She looks over Cerise’s shoulder, giving her an eye-smile to make her go on. She watches her sway from leg to leg, shifting her leg and thinking of her next sentence. She allows her to slip into her thoughts, gives her whatever amount of time she needs for she knows, she goddamn knows how hard it is to find yourself in a different world with different people to surround you.

“I want to apologize for my sudden arrival. Brandon should’ve given you more time to prepare and get used to the idea of me being here. He’s known to being extremely impulsive.” Her voice is calm, it doesn’t waver despite the emotions Caroline is sure are overwhelming her entire being. She speaks in a low tone. She wants to think she’s doing so in order not to injure their ears, taking into consideration their hypersensitive hearing. She’s already in love with the girl.

She decides to take matters into her own hands, to make the mood less tensed, and so, she takes a few steps back, breaking the contact with the girl and claps her hands, letting out overly excited noises. She stares at her friends without pausing her actions to warn them to act nice. She’s not one to do such things, but she’s just too happy right now to allow anyone to screw it up for her once more.

They seem to have gotten the hint as they start to introduce themselves one by one, showing some consideration and not coming all at her at once and overwhelm her with the waves and waves of names. She considers buying some treats once Cerise isn’t with them in the room to congratulate them on the seemingly welcoming behavior.

//

It was awkward. No, it was even more than that. Cerise groans, banging her head against the window of the cab Caroline flagged halfway to her house after the meeting was done. She should’ve been more outgoing, perhaps smile a little more and not think as much, maybe crack a joke here and there to lighten up the mood, but she was just so caught up in her own thoughts about her next action and about how she will have to completely change her schedule to fit theirs, that she just couldn’t.

In retrospective, it was her biggest mistake. She’s very much aware of the fact that her first impression was anything but stellar and that she did absolutely nothing to initiate some type of bond with any of them other than with Caroline who, really, did most of the work, thing for which she was and still is grateful. She thanks whatever god is out there that she’s the one offering her a roof over her head and not some other person from her circle of friends, for it would’ve been so awkward, Cerise being all stiff and giving off the unwelcoming vibes, she’s sure her time in this little town would’ve been seriously doomed.

When the car comes to a halt, making her slightly fall forward and bang her head against the passenger’s seat in which Caroline is, she looks out of the window and stares at the house she will have to call home for the next two months or so, depending on how much Brandon sees fit for her to take a vacation from her work. She grabs her bag from her left, opens the door and steps out of the car, taking in a deep breath and turning her head to face Caroline who has the biggest smile she has ever seen on her face. She can’t help but mirror her, muttering under her breath (without minding the fact that Caroline must have heard her for sure) that it’s all going to be ok, she’s going to be ok.

“Let’s do this, yeah?” 

her eyes looking 

sharp and stead into

the empty parts of

me.