vii

It’s past five am in the morning and Cerise is still very much unable to sleep. There are simply too much things in her head, too many emotions banging against the flesh wrapped around her bones, keeping everything together and too much has happened earlier.

She came home after staying at the party for one more hour, still on the couch, still with a bored Klaus trying his best not to do something to start the fire between him and Caroline’s friends. She thought that it was enough, she had stayed enough for them to know that she at least gave a damn about her to come over. She bid Caroline goodbye before going out of the door, but the young vampire was too into the game or the conversation, or whatever, to come over and to see her go, to offer her a ride home given that she was in face the one who had driven them both.

Surprisingly, or not, the hybrid himself had offered to give her a ride home, but Cerise flat out refused him. She doesn’t know him for long enough to inspire her any sort of comfort or safety and god knows what he would’ve done to her if they were alone in a car. He begrudgingly agreed and so, the brunette had to walk home on her own, swearing and jumping at every suspicious sound that tickled her ear. She can’t say it was a complete disaster, but it is certainly one of those experiences she would never willingly repeat again for as long as she is to stay in this town.

Caroline came home two hours after her, opening the door to Cerise’s room slowly and pocking her head out, trying to see if the other was awake. Cerise pretended to be asleep for a while, before sighing and telling her she just finished taking a shower, even if she knew the vampire could tell she did no such thing, but thankfully, she didn’t say anything about the matter. She simply came to her bed and sat on the edge, looking down at her feet before raising her eyes from the floor and telling her that she’s sorry for being so absorbed by what was happening at the party she didn’t send her some. Cerise merely waved her hand in dismissal, telling her that she didn’t expect her to do so when she had her older friends to take care of. She pretended she didn’t see the hurt flashing across Caroline’s face.

Now, Cerise is walking around her room, biting and nipping at the skin around her thumb nail, sighing and groaning as she replays the events in her mind. She acted like an antisocial bitch, not even trying to interact with any of them, and this time, it is her fault for the impression created. Sure, it would have been nice if anybody else besides Caroline had taken the time to invite her to play with them, or to at least engage in a cordial and trivial discussion with her, but she should’ve been the bigger person, should’ve tried to make her way into their group and at least try to make them like her a tiny bit. And not to mention how rude and unnecessarily mean she had acted to Caroline who truly felt bad about her behavior. She didn’t even have to feel so. It wasn’t her job to babysit Cerise. For Pete’s sake, the girl is a teenager and she is an actual adult who should be able to take care of herself without having somebody behind her to catch her when she falls.

She falls on the bed, bouncing slightly. Her legs are bended and onto the floor as she extends her arms and moves them around on the mattress as if she’s making a snow angel. She really shouldn’t have acted that way. None of them owe her anything. But then again, there’s that part of her that makes her want to scream into their face and tell them that she didn’t quite have a choice in this matter, just as them, and that it would be so much easier for all of them if, even for a moment, they put aside the issues they have with each other to the side and tried to act more friendlier with each other. She also knows that as much as she might want to apologise for her rude behavior, she won’t. She won’t because to some degree she still thinks she isn’t in the wrong, because she has her own pride and she doesn’t want to give them the satisfaction of making their assumptions of her being somebody week becoming an actual fact and use that against her somewhere in the future.

Cerise ends up sleeping for only one hour and a half before being woken up by her alarm clock, with a knick in her neck that resulted from her having slept in the angel position she was, every muscle of her bed protesting against each of her movement. Not even the hot water of the shower does something to help her sooth the pain.

//

Caroline and her ends up taking a jog around the woods, both of their hair in tight ponytails on top of their heads, swinging around with their steps. They don’t talk much, thankfully spared of the uncomfortable silence that could have followed after the last interaction they had last night by the ear phones they had on. Thankfully, when they met in the kitchen to grab something to eat, they acted as if last night didn’t happen, as if Cerise didn’t offend her and Caroline didn’t ignore her for the sake of her old friends and they somehow were glad both of them went along with the plan.

Cerise’s anger has diminished, vanished into thin air until everything that was left was disappointment, still so very bitter on the roof of her mouth. It isn’t an emotion she actually has the right to feel. She doesn’t even know towards what she is feeling. Towards the fact that Caroline had the time of her life at the party without her? Towards the fact that not only had she forgotten about their plan to crash the party, she chose her older friends over her? It simply doesn’t make sense. It makes her feel worthless, vulnerable and utterly selfish, a bad person trying to pass as something else and it’s unnerving at best.

She got way too attached to the blonde vampire for her own good.

Cerise lets herself drown into the beat of the music pounding in her ear, in the feel of her feet coming down on stones and making screeching noise that are audible even over the turned up music, lets herself become completely oblivious to the presence of Caroline besides her. She wants to erase the memories of last night, to continue on without the reminder that she is nothing but a temporary addition in their lives that will be ultimately forgotten and remains for the rest of her trip here just as relevant as a dog’s shit on the side of the road.

She can’t push her thoughts away from her mind, to stop them from corrupting her entire being with filthy emotions; she has tried doing so and failed miserably at completing the task. So instead of trying to stop the influx of feelings, she uses them as a fuel, runs faster, throws her hand around her body harder and speeds, passing Caroline who seems confused for a moment. Cerise is glad Caroline has interpreted her actions as something playful instead of an action of survival, for she hears her giggle erupting from her mouth, before following her and speeding as well, maintaining the human aura around her like before. Not long after that, Cerise has forgotten all about the bad thoughts and the profane heart and engaged in a slight running competition with her friend.

The distraction was very much welcomed.

//

They have stopped running when Caroline finally took notice of the lack of stamina in Cerise’s body that not even on its best day could compete will the one given to Caroline by her vampire genes and so, have settled on one of benches in the park, Caroline perfectly normal while Cerise was bending over trying to regain her breath.

They’ve been at it for 5 minutes now. Cerise, after a few more moments, stands up, mounting up the stairs to sit with Caroline, her head falling on the vampire’s bony shoulder, and as much as the position is uncomfortable, she can’t find it in her to actually move away from her. She isn’t one who’s very fond of human contact or of people touching her, but certain moments call for that side of her that just needs some skin on skin, and right now is the perfect example of one of those as Cerise brings her hand on Caroline’s and intertwines their fingers together, playing slightly with her fingers for a while.

They stay in silence, a comfortable one that is very welcomed after that silent storm the both of them got caught up in. Cerise has agreed with herself that she shall make no references to what happened last night and not hold it against her friend any longer. Caroline was kind enough—or at least had the proper control over herself Cerise seems to lack as of lately—not to say anything about Cerise’s rude behavior last night and the one she had shown in the morning. The brunette considers but only fair for her to do the same and let go of the hard feeling she has started brewing for her friend against her better judgment.

“Care, please tell me you’ve brought a bottle of water with you cause my throat feels like after a very bad night of drinking.” Cerise voices breaks the silence, the woman groaning at how hard it is for her to speak.

Caroline falls into deep thought for a moment, before bringing her little backpack onto her lap and unzipping it, hands digging into it, searching, before pulling out a bottle of water, that much to both of their dismay, is hot as fuck.

Cerise realizes she is in no position to complain outloudly about it and snatches the bottle out of the vampire’s hand, uncapping it quickly and drowning all of its content in two big gulps that leave her breathless and really unsatisfied, but partially content.

“That’s—disgusting.” Caroline wrinkles her nose, grabbing the empty bottle and using her skills to throw it while sitting in one of the garbage bins.

“Yeah, well. Extreme times demand extreme measures.”

“But still.”

“Indeed.”

//

After the little break they took, they both decide that they have reached their limits and sitting in the burning sun for so long can do them no good. Cerise complains that while Caroline has a very good reason for the paleness of her skin, she doesn’t and it would be pretty rad for her to get a nice tan while she’s staying here, and after Caroline brought some really good arguments to debunk her statement, the blonde made a compromise and promised her she will take her to the beach or somewhere they could both sunbathe if she would just get moving now.

Needless to say, Cerise bounced all the way home with a shit-eating grin the teenager would’ve been more than glad to slap off.

When they step over the threshold of Caroline’s home, none of them wait to get to the couch to plop down and lie instead on the floor, pressing ever patch of uncovered skin against the cold tiles and thanking god for this haven he has offered them. No place is as welcoming as a true home is and with that, Cerise cannot argue.

“We really should do something about this laziness of ours” Caroline manages to say between giggles, her words muffled slightly by the few locks of hair that have gotten out of the ponytail that once was tight and are now covering her mouth.

“Yeah, for sure, but not now. Maybe later.”

They find it in them to crawl to the couch during their fit of giggles. Each time they look at each other they fall to the ground again, laughing even harder than before and Cerise is pretty sure something very unfortunate is gonna happen if they continue at this rate.

Once they are seated onto the couch, they use some moments to catch their breaths. The silence is only disturbed by Cerise’s intakes of air and the faux ones Caroline takes as well. The human realizes that Caroline is still holding tightly onto the habits she had when she was alive and had a beating organ in her chest, a reminder of the times spent in her true element, although Cerise can’t argue with the fact that the life of a vampire suits the blonde just as well.

After they both are sure their lungs are no longer wrestling in their chest for air, Cerise lies down on her side, head in the blonde’s lap with her hands under it, giving a very appreciative purr when she feels a hand coming to play with her hair. She wrinkles his nose in disgust for a second when she realizes her hair is sticking to her scalp because of the sweat and other disgusting liquids her body has let out, but the motion is too good to thing about such things, so she closes her eyes and lets Caroline go on with her treatment.

During her haze, she vaguely remembers Caroline mentioning something about her being a kitten that has been tamed. She can’t find it in her to tell her that her claws are sharp enough to tear everything apart and that they have done so many times before, one hundred too many to be considered a fact worth mentioned. So she doesn’t, allows both of them to be enchanted by the fairytale the world has offered them, so deliciously oblivious to the danger lurking outside their door.

They will have enough time to worry about that in the future.

//

“I still don’t understand why you continue being around them if they make you feel like this” Cerise huffs, picking another t-shirt and folding it, putting it carefully in the wardrobe.

“Because they are my friends and friends should look past each other’s flaws.” Caroline says from the bed, doing the exact same thing as Cerise, only at a much slower pace with less interest.

“Friends should notice when the other is feeling extremely uncomfortable.” The brunette points out, plopping next to Caroline onto the bed and turning her head to stare at her an examine her facial expressions.

“It would be nice if most friendships were close to the ideal ones, but few are, if not any.” Cerise raises her hands in defeat, aware she got her there.

The conversation started after Caroline more or less made a dent in the wall after she burst into Cerise’s room, raging about how her friends are over at the Grill and demanded her presence, threatening her they will come over and take her by force with them, not at all keen on the fact that she has become more secluded after Cerise’s arrival.

Cerise, having already got accustomed to Caroline’s ways of often being oblivious to the effect of her words, took no harm in her words or offence, and instead, patted her shoulders and continued her previous activity of getting the rest of her clothes out of the suitcases that remained full. However, she can’t deny that the guilt eating away at her heart had disappeared since. She is aware how much has changed with her arrival and how most of the people around Caroline are not at all pleased with it.   She has been ignoring it for a while, but one can do so much before the shit comes upon them like a furious sea.

“They are right, Caroline. You can’t just spend most of your time with me by ignoring them. It doesn’t help that when you are invited somewhere, you drag me with you.” Cerise says, putting her hand on the blonde’s knee, watching with a sympathetic smile as she draws in a breath, closing her eyes.

“Why can’t they just look at the things the way I do? You have nobody in town besides me and they aren’t doing anything to change that.”

“I know, darling, but still. They have known you for much longer than I have and they do have priority when it comes to your time.”

They are silent, Caroline not wanting to admit that what Cerise has said was in fact true and Cerise not wanting to force her to do so.

“Here’s what we are going to do”, she stands up, slapping the younger girl’s shoulder before facing her. “You are going to go over to the Grill, have the night of your life and I am going to do some exploring of my own, maybe watch a movie or take a bath—I don’t know, but I will figure it out.”

Cerise brings a finger on Caroline’s lips when she realizes she’s about to say something that would be most likely a protest.

“No buts, missy. I am going to be just fine. Besides, who says I am going to be alone? I am pretty sure Mister Jack has been giving me the eyes ever since I have arrived here” Cerise’s tone is almost lewd as she nods her head in the direction of the kitchen where in one of the cupboards, there lies a bottle of whiskey.

Caroline only smiles slightly, looking at Cerise with an expression the latter can’t put her finger on it and all, and overwhelmed by the importance of the moment, she takes the blonde’s hand in hers, stands up, dragging her with her to the blonde’s room, opening the wardrobe and shoving outfits after outfits into her face.

In the end, Cerise remained in the house drinking and partying by herself and Caroline went out to hopefully bring some peace to her friends’ minds. But never are things what they seem, just as Cerise didn’t stay all night in the house and how Caroline didn’t quite succeed into calming her friends down.

//

The moment Cerise enters the shower room and feels the hot water hitting her back, her head is thrown back and an appreciative moan escapes her.  She has always felt something purifying in having water drip down her body, as if all her wrong deeds came out of her body, oozing and spurting out of her nose with each intake of air. It’s not much of a difference between being in a confessional booth and taking a shower for her.

She turns and twists in the shower, hands in her hair, fingers trying to untangle the knots that have formed before moving all over the exposed skin. Her hands travel over it, burning each detail in her mind, a map of sorts to her she wishes to never forget. It feels like the first time she has explored her move and every crevice of it, acting and feeling as if there are still so many things she doesn’t know, so many routes she has yet to take and places her fingers have stumbled upon.

An hour or so later, she’s in her room on the edge of the bed, the water from her hair dripping onto her neck and getting lost in the valley between her mounds. She giggles for she is ticklish and weirdly, even more so after getting out of the shower. Cerise falls back on the bed, not thinking about wetting the mattress or getting some of hair dye on it. She remembers how awkward it was to explain to her best friend why exactly there was white towel with red on it after she freaked out thinking she was bleeding when it was in fact just the hair dye.

She chuckles fondly at the memory. Shortly after that she lets out a sigh. She hasn’t thought for a single moment about the people she has left behind when she first agreed to Brandon’s plan, not a phone call or a text message from them or sent to them and she feels so horrible, the content of her stomach threatens to spill with every guttural noise the makes.

She slaps her knees as she goes back into a sitting position, reprimanding herself for even going there, for letting such thoughts being close to ruining her night. The house feels eerily silent without Caroline in it, and deciding that such environment will only push her into going back to that state of regret, she takes her phone in her hand, surfing through her albums and putting on a song, volume on the blast, before pushing herself up, the towel covering her body pooling at her ankles. Cerise steps out of it, shaking her head to the beat of the song to try and naturally dry it a little bit, before going over to her wardrobe and taking out some comfortable clothes that are also pretty decent and without all that many wrinkles she should worry about ironing. She slips into them easily, running her hands over the material to smooth it out a little bit, before sitting in front of the vanity to take care of her hair and face .

Her cheeks have flushed red because of the change of temperature and the contrast between that and her hair is too drastic for her. She has always been a little bit too pale. She wants to blame it on the anemia or perhaps on the time she has spent secluded in the dancing room, but it’s truthfully because the country she is coming for puts a little bit too much accent on the whole milky skin thing and as a public figure, she had to oblige and follow.

Cerise winces, nose wrinkling and one of her eyes going closed as her hairbrush gets stuck in her hair, pulling at her roots as she tries to untangle it. Having naturally curly hair and then having to brush it immediately after stepping out of the shower isn’t something she’s particularly keen on doing, but her stylist told her that she must to do to maintain the volume of her hair and the shine she has.

After a few more minutes of wrestling her stubborn hair, some more on putting on makeup and making sure her wings are equally as long and have the same height, she steps away from the vanity and bounces down the stairs, grabbing the keys from the bowl on the counter along with her phone that she slips into the back pocket of her jeans and she’s out of the door in seconds, door closed and hair still wet as fuck. But it’s hot enough outside for that to not turn into a problem and before she even realizes it, she’s on a different route leading her to an unknown side of the city she just cannot wait to find more about.

But as she is caught up in that little daze of her, looking over the splash of color and humans, she fails to realize a certain familiar somebody not far behind, watching her every move with an amused smirk on his lips that looks anything but friendly.

She twirls around on the side of the road, listening gleefully to the sounds her shoes make against the pavement and the way her hair flows around her face, whipping against her face, leaving behind red marks that sting, but that bother her not at all. Cerise barely gives a thought to the people around them, as few as they are, and the thoughts or ideas they might get from seeing her rather peculiar actions. She doesn’t even think that perhaps because of how small the town is there might be some rumours going around about the newcomers and her weird antics. She just cannot be bothered by such thoughts when she’s finally free and going about without having to constantly worry about some unseen danger or pleasing the people she isn’t even keen on to begin with.

Cerise is brought back to reality, however, by a sound on her left side. She whips her head in the direction of the noise and identifies it as a twig snapping under somebody’s or something’s weight. It is then that she realizes she has reached the very beginning of the second part of the woods and that the shadows the tress are throwing onto the pavement are ominous and make her shiver slightly at the predicament she is in.

There are even fewer people around her than before, all scurrying away to get faster to their destination and paying her no attention. It doesn’t sooth her nerves at all, if not—it makes her even more concerned for her safety all of a sudden. The sound echoes again, in a mocking manner, making her scoff at the game she has found herself getting dragged into by the unknown creature. She is pretty sure they are waiting in the dark for the perfect moment to strike, to reveal themselves and revel in her fear as their fangs come out, protruding and dripping with the putrid smell of the imminent death that awaits her. So, she does the only sane thing one with enough knowledge about the matter does—she pulls out her phone, mimicking the expression of one that is not only surprised but also concerned and brings it to her ear, waiting a second or two before replying in a tone that is full of emotions.

“Hey, Christine. What’s up?”

“….” She turns around, starting to walk slowly at first, without giving any hints that she is aware of the other’s presence.

“What are you talking about? Jack is throwing a surprise party? Ugh, he knows how much Marie hates this type of stuff. Doesn’t he ever learn?” By now, she has picked up her pace, running her hand through her hair and making sure she waits enough seconds before coming out with another reply. The thing that she is most worried about, however, is the role a vampire’s acute hearing might play in this matter, slightly shaking at the idea of the person being aware she is talking to absolutely no one because of the lack of another person’s voice.

“…”

“Fine! I’ll be there in five. I’m near the woods by your house, anyways. Shouldn’t take me long.”

She waits a few more moments, making sounds and nodding her head before bidding goodbye to her imaginary friend and starting running as casually as possible, as if it is because of a sudden engagement and not because she is closer to death than she would like.

Cerise has no idea for how long she had been running before the she was finally surrounded by more people, blinded by the headlights of the passing car and deafened by the sounds of people chatting among each other, but she can say that she hasn’t been gladder to be in the heart of a city as she is now. She bends down, hands on her knees, mouth open and lungs trashing in her ribcage as they’re trying to regain the oxygen lost. Her legs have turned to pasta, threatening to give out under her weight if she doesn’t find a resting place sooner and she can’t agree more with the idea of finally relaxing and forgetting everything about the dreadful close-encounter she had with the creature.

But not long before she straightens her back and turns to the right to go to the closest bench, she crashed full force into somebody’s chest, stumbling back a few steps, completely disoriented. One of her hand has remained on the person’s chest to balance herself and keep her body from hitting the floor. Cerise can feel the vibrations in it as the sound of somebody chuckling rings in her ears in a mocking manner and startled, she raises her gaze from the floor, eyebrows furrowing as her mind connects the face with a name.

“Damon.”

She shocks herself with the hostility she has towards the man, although not at all unjustified. She sneers at him, retracting her hand from his chest and crossing her arms over her chest, head held high as he stares into his eyes. He seems awfully amused by her reaction and it does nothing to ease the tension between them. It is as if he wants her to be in an ever fouler mood than she is, to see her snap in front of him and see the worst in her and although tempted to give him what he desires, she holds her grounds and puts on a smile full of contempt.

“Shouldn’t you be with the rest of the gang discussing very important matters at the Grill?”

“Nah. Watching you finally give into your insanity and losing your composure because of a few sounds is way better than having to babysit my brother and his pathetic friends.”

Cerise gasps, face contorting into an expression of sheer disgust and anger. Before she can ever realize what she’s doing, her hands come back in contact with his chest, this time at full force and he sees him stumbling backwards just as she had a few minutes, face surprised.

“You fucking bastard!”