hazyhalloween

Personal Message

Hello everyone, I'm Lisa and I have a dream to share the world inside my head and heart. I'd love for you to know some of my friends and their adventures. I would call myself a creator of ideas...but not so good at writing them out. I'm not a professional writer though I wish I could be. I live like a real Cinderella I suppose. I live in the 20+ years unfinished extension room of my dads house dreaming of fairy tales beneath the roof beams and thick grey spider webs. Thousands of spiders all shapes and sizes from False Widows to Leggies, Chunkies and Big Creepies. I'd say we're scared of each other but its only me scared of them, as one took a meaty mouthful of my leg one night. My favourite friends however are my Mogs [or Cats if you like]. Having 9 they used to look after me and chase the spiders away along my bare wood board floor. Curl up and keep me warm on the iciest winter nights, smiling and purring. you see being poor my house has no heating and hot water and the falling roof does not enclose my bedroom from the outside so the whitest of winter mist swirls itself inside my bedroom while we all huddle under the quilt. Sometimes I feel like I may just be dead when I wake up in the morning to find my cold toes have turned numb, and when I pull back the covers at night to slip in a bed that feels wet with cold I feel I may be entering my grave. But then I hear purrs and see marble glowing eyes from the darkness of my room and I lift the covers for my mogs to join me and we snuggle together. their purrs a reminder I'm still alive. I know that my mogs are my only real friends in the world. I wouldn't call myself a Crazy Old Cat lady...more A Melancholy Mog Madam. Having so many and a great deal over time I've come to realise that each Mog and Cat have their own personalities and character. They are as rich and variant of those that humans have and no feline should be judged the same. In the garden we play catch the apples. This is where I pull apples from the tree and roll them down the length of the garden, where a half a dozen or more Mogs come pouncing out to be the first to capture it. The first racks up their points on the score board. 1..2..3...4/roll. "four" signifies go and then start running. we play in the summer and also in the winter if the crab apples are still a plenty. The trouble with me is that trying to neuter all my felines on the high cost was hard and each last Mog per generation I got to gave a litter. If my post code was wrong or the shelter full they could not be taken for good homes and being winter with no one needing pets I could not see them out my door. No..not never. My eyes well up now to think of it. The trouble with keeping Mogglets (or kittens) is that you fall in love with them. In the countryside I tried my best to give home to them all. Not one of my friends unloved. The food bills horrendous but never a price to high to pay. These little Fuzzies are the only things that love me in the entire world and I them. Now with only 4 Mog left, to lose each one is a stab in my heart - which has become a pin cushion of pain, each pin made from love which bleeds me slowly. even if those pins where pulled out, the puncture wounds remain. But 4 friends left keep me smiling through dried up tears from friends lost years ago and we still have our fun together. We're a big fan of X files and licking Jam from spoons. Together we sit in my room doing what friends do. I plaster my unplastered walls in Jrock and Kpop posters, while my wardrobe is bursting with many dresses and fancy clothes, none suitable to wear for 'normal'. Lolita dresses, Indian Sarees, Chinese Cheongsam, and many Princess dresses. The house dust ruins them all and the spiders wrap them up for best while I dance along the floor to my furry little audience. I love to create. From Stories to Art to Poems. I love to learn Oriental languages and travel on my long saved up savings to visit Europe, Japan and the world, going to Jrock/Kpop concerts. The best feeling in the world is being greeted home by friends who know my schedules off by heart, especially as my arrival means 'dinner'. As a painfully shy kid used to believe that in this world I was alone. But now as a young adult (and still a Cinderella in bedroom) I see that I have friends worth existing for. friends that love me regardless. Friends I would never leave for anything. So this is what I say to those who feel alone - 'Paint every day yellow, Keep sunshine in your heart regardless' ...because someone always loves you and relies on you being there.