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Dear Fred,

I know you aren't going to reply or read this or whatever, but talking to you is easier than talking to anyone else. No one else really understands me, actually. And there’s so much going on right now, I.

I don't know.

Your funeral is next week, and it makes everything so real. You aren't going to come back and play pranks or even laugh with me. And you probably want me to smile and act like I like how we used to, but I can't. Because that was us, not me.

Percy hasn't come out of his room yet, or looked me in the eye. Maybe it's because I look like you. Maybe he thinks that I'm you. Whenever I look into a mirror…it's like seeing you come back. And then reality would crash and it's like I lost you all over again.

I haven't opened my our shop yet and I expect it will look like shit. Dad tells me you’d want me to, but it's just that. The shop was ours and it was our idea to start the whole thing and now you're not here. The fainting fancies and the nosebleed nougats and everything were ours and not mine alone.

You left me alone, Fred. It's…..it's like I'm not really there while I am and Mom is getting worried. She's got Bill and Charlie to try to talk to me and Ron to get me to eat and Ginny – Ginny just cries.

Harry feels really guilty – I can see it - and it's horrible. He thinks it's his fault that you died and I know I should tell him it's not…but like everyone else, he can't look at me.

I'm too much like you.

None of us have actually gotten the habit that Fred and George is now just George. Not even Mom – she calls me “Fred and George” sometimes, and she wouldn’t realize her mistake.

It's just wrong without you here. Mom isn't herself, Dad's quiet, the rest can't look at me and. And I…I'm just not me. I can't simply forget the times when it was us. I can't simply forget how you used to hold my hand because I was scared of the dark. I can't simply forget how we would plan the products and create them. I can't simply forget how happy we were when our sales increased. I can't simply forget us.

I can't.

At that time, I just knew something was wrong. Suddenly you were there lying cold on the ground. Your face was covered in blood and you weren't awake. You didn't laugh and smile and tell me it was all a prank. You didn't stand up to continue fighting with me.

You were dead. Gone. Lifeless.

What am I supposed to do Fred? How am I supposed to continue, move on when you aren't here? How?

We were going to grow old and have countless of children and grandchildren. We were going to build our shop big but you left.

I sound so bitter, don't I? I sound like I hate Life, don't I? You know what Fred? I think I do. I don't want to live if it means you are far, far away. But I know that if I….if I leave, our family will grieve more. I need to take care of them.

We've always been the ones who cheered everyone up when they are down after all. Except…..

I've thought about it. Suicide, I mean. It's cowardly isn't it? But it's the easiest way I can think of. You have to admit, it’s a much easier solution to the problem.

I can practically hear you right now. "George! We are Gryffindors! We don't take the easy way out! Where's your courage?"

Well Fred, maybe my courage left the same time you did.

It's not the same anymore.

It's scary.

It's so…it's unbalanced now. The whole world is unbalanced.

I miss you real bad. And I don't know if I have ever told you this before, but I love you.

I just wish I had told you before.

Can you hear me Fred? Can you read this? I wish you could, so you will know how much I need you right now.

I wish I could see your smile just one more time. I wish you could hold my hand just one more time. I wish we could open our shop together one more time.

But then again, they are just plain wishes aren't they? And wishes don't come true. Because if they did, then you’d never have gone to the Battle, you’d never have left, you’d be with me.

Your twin,

George