CHAPTER I- My Mornings

  The alarm goes off, and I wake up, foggy-eyed, still groggy from the lack of sleep. I hit the alarm to snooze, and stuff my head under the pillow, saying “just 5 more minutes…” and drifting off to a light sleep again.

  5 minutes later, the alarm went off.

  Click. Hit it to snooze.

  Doze off for another 5 minutes.

  I hit the alarm to snooze one more time before waking up grudgingly.

  Today’s the last day of summer holidays. Everyone parties or hang out with friends on the last day of the holiday, before starting a whole new year of school in front of us. I’m supposed to get to city at 11, to meet with my friends. I look at the clock, which shows 9:45. If I don’t get up now, I’ll be late an my friends would leave without me-I know that for sure.

  I roll off the bed, and walk into my en suite bathroom. Having my own bathroom is great, which means, no sharing with my annoying younger brother, Yong Chan, who thinks he’s so attractive and has to stare in the mirror 100 times a day. (Seriously, I counted.)

  I’m not saying that he is ugly-he’s actually pretty cute, with dimples when he smiles and can manage to look reckless and thoughtful at the same time and all, but he is pretty lanky, with skinny arms and a skinny body. He’s a flirt alright, and never leaves his phone 24/7-always waiting for a call from one of his girl classmates. Although he is lanky and tall and skinny, he actually developed muscles and a six pack-don’t ask me how he did that. He is only a year younger than me, but he is already taller than me. I used to bully him all the time and looking down at him coz he was so short, but now… sigh. He’s looking down at me in a way which is pretty annoying and makes you want to slap him in the face and ruin his pretty boy looks by giving him a red, palm stain on his cheek. (And I don’t. Mom and dad will blame me.)

  I do my daily washing routine, and put on clean clothes that I think will suit the occasion for the day. Going out with my friends requires suitable and sensible clothing that will not embarrass them when I’m standing next to them. Something that will not make people on the street point at me and go, “hey, look at that hobo over there!” So, I just pull on a deep blue T-shirt with my favourite band’s name on, along with a pair of white shorts that match it. I quickly run my fingers in my hair, smoothing out tangled ends and styling it a little. I skip the make-up; I like to look au natural, but I do put on my contacts. Wearing glasses are a pain in the neck. Thank God that I convinced my parents to buy me contact lenses or else I’ll never step out of the house.

  One last look at myself in the mirror, and I march out of my room.

  A heavenly aroma lingers in the air. Mom’s cooking again, which is good, ever since she lost her job, she’s been sitting in front of the TV, watching old dramas and crying into the cushions, and didn’t bother to cook up a decent meal. I had to cook breakfast, pack Yong Chan’s, my dad’s and my lunch, and make dinner for my brother and I. Mom went out to the other middle aged ladies' house that live around our place houses almost every night, and dad, being dad, had to stay at his company late to catch up his work. So it was just Yong Chan and me.

  I look at mom’s glowing face. It’s either the smile that makes her face glow or the new skin product she’s been using-I can’t tell. But it’s good to see mom cooking again.

  Mom turns to look at me. After one look at my outfit, she says, “Yoon Soo, are you going out today?”

  It’s more of a statement than a question, and I know that she knows where I’m going.

  “Yes, mother.” I take out a jug of apple juice out of the fridge, and pour myself a cup. Yong Chan suddenly appears behind me, “oi, give me a cup.”

  “Yong Chan, don’t go calling your sister ‘oi’, call her name properly.” Mom hits Yong Chan’s head lightly, pretending to be cross, but she can’t. Yong Chan’s her favourite child. Even if I’m the older one, I’m the leftover.   

  “Sis.” Yong Chan pretends to be nice, “give me a cup of apple juice, please.”

  I shudder at his sickly sweet voice, and pour him a cup. He smiles at me, a dimple forming at the corner of his mouth. Ew.

  Dad is reading the morning paper at the dining table. He looks up, and nods in my direction, “Yoon Soo, be careful while you’re out there, alright?”

  I nod, grabbing a bun from the table, taking a big bite along with a sip of apple juice. I take a seat beside him, “how’s things at the company?”

  Dad sighs, and puts the newspaper down. “Still the same things. I tried to write up this report, but the other guy stole my idea, so I had to start all again.”

  “Honey, did you blab your ideas to your co-workers?” Mom slams a plate of rice cakes on the table, annoyed, “I told you not to blab! And now they stole your idea! Now you won’t get a rise in your salaries.”

  “I did not blab! I was talking to them! And it just sort of slipped! Then they stole my idea!” Dad retorts, face flushed.

  “That is blabbing!” Mom shouts, and I can feel Yong Chan jump behind me. Like me, he hates it when our parents fight.

  “Mom, dad, please stop fighting,” I beg them, but they take no notice of me.

  “Mom, did you burn something?” Yong Chan sniffs the air, “smells like you burnt the porridge.”

  “Oh God, I think I did!” Mom stops shouting at dad, and runs in the kitchen to check the food.

  “Fighting is like burning your food; as you fight, your anger builds, so does the food-the temperature goes up, until it is too hot and the food reaches its highest temperature, and it starts to burn.” Yong Chan pauses, and looks at dad, “dad, please stop fighting with mom. Even if she is wrong, let her be. Women are like that, even if they are wrong, they still think they are right. We just have to let it be and stop arguing with them, let them think that they’re right.” There’s a slightly sad whiney tone to his voice, and his dark brown eyes are unhappy.

  Dad nods slowly, sighing, “I know, son, but sometimes, it’s just so hard to cope with her, you know? And sometimes, I just have to argue back, to fight myself, to stop being such a coward in front of her… I… When I don’t have enough salary for her, she freaks and shouts at me; when she lost her job, I stayed at the office late, to earn a tip or overtime, so I can still please her with money… ever since she lost her job, I just feel so miserable…” Dad covers his face with wrinkly hands, “but she just doesn’t understand how I feel…”

  “Dad, just… let her be.” Yong Chan sighs, and pats dad lightly on the back.

  “Ok, the porridge is fine. Hey, what’s wrong? Yong Chan, you’re not hurt, are you?” Mom emerges from the kitchen, and sees Yong Chan with his hand on dad’s back.

  “No, I’m fine, but dad isn’t. Why don’t you two have a talk?” Yong Chan places his cup on the table.

  “No, Yong Chan. I’m fine.” Dad shushes him, “Yoon Soo, are you going somewhere? You’d better go now, it’s getting late.”

  “Really? What time is it?” I look around for the clock, but it’s gone.

  “Sorry Sweet, the clock stopped, so I took it off.” Dad apologizes, and look at his watch, “it’s  10:15.”

  Oh crap. “I’m late!”

  I quickly dump my wallet, phone, mirror, and other little things in my white backpack, and pull on white Converses.

  “Need a ride, sweet?” Dad says from behind his newspaper. He always calls me ‘Sweet’ when he has something on his mind, or when he is nervous. It became my nickname, which he always calls me. It might sound funny, but Yong Chan’s nickname (also made up by dad) is funnier.  Yong means dragon in Korean, and Chan can mean bright, so therefore he’s called ‘Bright’ or ‘Dragon’, or sometimes ‘Bright Dragon’ when dad’s in the mood. (I improvised on it; I call him ‘Dinosaur’, but it pissed him off so much that I had to stop calling him that. I only call him that whenever I’m angry at him, just to annoy him.)

  “I don’t know. Do you think you can?” I ask him, even though I know that he has things better to do than driving me to the city.

  “Sure, where’re you going?” Dad puts the newspaper down, and pulls on his jacket.

  “Um… city?” I say anxiously, because the city is far away from home.

  “City? Ok. Fine. I need to take my mind off things too.” Dad gets his car keys, and stands up.

  “Dad, can I come?” Yong Chan butts in the conversation, “I need to buy stuff for school.”

  “Sure. Honey, I’ll take him to buy stationary, alright? We can grab a lunchbox in city. We’ll be back by dinner.” Dad tells mom, “Dragon, go get dressed. We’re leaving soon.”

  “What’s wrong with these?” Yong Chan gestures to his shirt-over-black-singlet, and acid washed jeans with holes.

  “You look a bit… like a junkie, son. I’d change if I were you, but if you don’t want to, then don’t.” Dad slips into thongs, and walks out of the apartment.

  “C’mon, let’s go.” I say to Yong Chan, and walk out of the door, “bye, mom!”

  “You have a great day, Yoon Soo!” Mom waves us out of the house, “Yong Chan, don’t go breaking girls’ hearts today, alright? You’ve broken enough hearts already.”

  Did I mention that my brother is a flirt and a heartbreaker?