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mother mary in da hiz-house

by friedchickenftw
Tags   comedy   crack   holy   jesus   disciples   mary   | Report Content

A A A A

sorry guys but this isnt like inspired by the anime, i just couldnt think of a name, ill change it later okay okay sorry guys 
 

 

 
 
 
 
 
"-and she tried to take my phone away, like who does she think she is!" Jesus said to his home girl, Luke, on the phone. 
 
"Jesus, Jesus, she's your mom." Luke carefully told Jesus. 
 
"...So? She ain't got nothin' on me, just because she is "holy" and "pure" don't mean she get to boss me around, mhhmmm."
 
Luke sighed and wished for a new best friend, but remembered he was Jesus and thought, ugh fuck it.
 
"Jesus... Matthew is my best friend." Jesus paused for a moment and sighed sadly. I regret my decision, Luke mentally beat himself up.
 
"W-what? I thought..."
 
"I-I'm sorry Jesus, I was kidding, I'm s-sorry, you'll always be my BFF!" Jesus could hear his sobs all the way from heaven, oh das far.
 
"Best of friends..." Jesus said.
 
 
 
Booty booty booty booty rockin' everywhere!
 
Ugh, school, I want to sleep... Jesus screamed and threw his phone at a pillow.
 
"GET UP JESUS ITS TIME FOR SCHOOL!" Mary opened the blinds and Jesus hissed. 
 
"THE SUNLIGHT!!! IT BURNS!!" Mary rolled her eyes and walked out his room.
 
 
 
"-and she just opened the blinds like, you know I don't like the sunlight!" 
 
"Jesus, Jesus, she's your mom." Luke said.
 
"Jesus, Jesus, whatever. Can you stop saying those lines? It really annoys me."
 
"Yeah, well get used to it."
 
"You're a bitch."
 
"A pretty one." Luke flipped his hair and walked over to Matthew. 
 
"MATTHEW I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN FOREVER!!" Jesus jumped on Matthew's back.
 
"Ow, you're fat, begone peasant, and we literally just saw each other yesterday." 
 
"24 HOURS TOO MANY!" Jesus exclaimed and he flailed, slapping someone in the face accidentally.
 
Gasp.
GAsp.
GASp.
GASP.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
find out next tiem what happened in this story next yr ayy lmao
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Previously on: 
 
Gasp.
GAsp.
GASp. 
GASP.
 
"Oh hell no, who do you think you are, slapping me, I will cu- OH MY GOOOD JESUSSSS!!!!!" John, Jesus's cousin, who's also Joseph's teammate, (playin bASKETBALL gotta getcha head in the game loser) slapped Jesus across the head.
 
"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!" 
 
"Slapping me, bitch."
 
"...You're lucky you're Joseph's friend, if not you would already be de-"
 
"SON THIS IS NOT HOW I RAISED YOU TO BE." God bellowed from the heavens above.
 
"whAT THE FUCK. DAD YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME."
 
"Call me Daddy like you used to, son."
 
"Did he just say "Daddy"?" Jesus's groups of friends bursted out in laughter and Luke laughed so hard he fell on his face.
 
"G-guys!! That was like what, 15 years ago? Shut up!!"
 
"Call me Daddy, AHAHAHAHHAHA"
 
"Your dad is the best huehauehauhe."
 
Can this day get any worse? Jesus asked himself.
 
Oh, but it did.
 
 
 
 
 
 
am i teasin yall hahah cliffhanger hah losers

Comments

Comments are moderated. Keep it cool. Critical is fine, but if you're rude to one another (or to us), we'll delete your stuff. Have fun and thanks for joining the conversation!

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blossomheartz  on says:
hi come check my new shop here
http://www.fanficoverflow.com/story/view/2648

BuddhaBaby  on says:
Lol! I love this. I enjoy a crack fic every now and again. *waits patiently for second chapter*

SuchChocolate  on says about chapter 1:
ohmygosh so awesome dis iz

ByungKitty  on says:
dude the site said you updated this
this is not updated
LIES

SuchChocolate  on says:
because I'm weird and I stalk people sometimes *whispers: all the time*
i realised that this is based on an anime
whut

BuddhaBaby  on says:
I would love to see more of this! Keep it up! :) - A Saint Young Men Lover

SuchChocolate  on says:
huehuehuehue

ByungKitty  on says:
herro dere

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