Luv U, Bby. Waht. PINA COLADA FART ♥

I walked along a candy road. This place is really amazing, I don't know where I am but I don't want to leave.

A woman walks up to me, hands me a cup of peanut butter and walks away, smiling. I stare at the cup of peanut butter in my hands and realize it was not peanut butter at all! It was dog excrement. Strange..

The cup felt very warm too so I think it's fresh. I see a little kid walk by and I hand it to him. Thinking it was actually peanut butter, he scoops a handful and eats some. Gross, really but I didn't want to disturb him eating, he looked really happy and content so I shrug and leave.

I pass a colorful ice cream shop and felt like it was a good time to eat ice cream so I walk back and go in to order me a delicious treat.

I handed the guy money and he told me to enjoy my unicorn horn. I was confused but he then explained the cone was made out of a unicorn's horn. I nodded in understanding and continued to lick my cold goodness.

I finished my ice cream to the tip of the horn, which was the bottom. After filling myself with ice cream I decide to take a little stroll by the park.

Little kids were screaming in delight as they chased each other and elderly people were just chilling with sunglasses, probably getting a tan.

I walked by an elder, a old grandma, who farted shamelessly right in front of me. The smell was surprisingly pleasant to my nose, smelt like Pina Colada.

I closed my eyes and breathed in the heavenly scent, who knew old people farts smelt so good?

After smelling, a little kid went up me. He was quite odd.

''Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters.'' he said in a very pitchy voice. After saying that, he proceeded to smack me right on the bum, giggling. He skipped away after that.

I felt violated but nonetheless it didn't ruin my happy mood I was in.

My mood went up when I saw a beautiful female pass by me. Her scent filled my nose and I hate to admit it but it smelt better than the woman's fart.

Her nose or should I say snout was simply beautiful, her face looked like it was carved out from a sculptor. Her tail, curled up like curly fries.

She took my breath away. Such a beautiful pig. Don't ask how I know she was a female, I just got that feeling, besides would any male pig look as breath-taking as she was?

She stopped and turned to look at me. Her brown orbs piercing my soul and I froze up. She was actually staring at me.

She snorted at me and strutted away. Even her snort sounded so feminine. I felt my heart swell up, even a glance and I felt this way. I was surely in love.

I called out her name, ''Sausage Patti''. Boy her name was so unique too. She turned, hearing her name.

I run up to her and I say those three words that female pigs love to hear. ''You're like Bacon.'' I whispered.

I can see her eyes glistening and I had a little faith that maybe she liked me back. With that little faith, I confessed.

''You would look so crispy when I cook you. You'd be sizzling on my pan. Hot and steamy. You'd smell so nice and I'd make you extra crispy. I would cook you till you're tan and dip you in syrup, and chew your crunchiness. The thought of it makes me want you more. Please, let me have you. I want you, I need you. Without you.. I'd starve and die. I can't live without you.'' There. I said it. Confessed to the love my life, Sausage Patti.

I hope she feels the same way. I leaned into her pig lips, those big pork lips oinking at me, I could see the lust in her eyes and I know she wants this kiss.

As my I inched closer and closer, I heard a loud beep. I open my eyes and realize I was in my bed. I groaned and shut the annoying alarm off. I shake my head. Boy.. that dream is by far the most dream I have ever had. No more bacon at 3 am..

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OKAY that's it. Idunno waht i'm doing. I was bored and I originally wrote it for my friend's english paper but he didn't want to use it because.. well HOW CAN THAT BE A ENGLISH PAPER? LOL. I DIDN'T CONSIDER IT ACTUALLY BUT meh.. he couldn't use so I was like, ''Ohoho WAI NOT POST DIS ON ZE FANFIC OVERFLOWW?~'' and bam, here it is.