i dont know

This girl loved only one guy. This girl was aware of everything she did for this person. That one person who never saw her even though she was standing right in front of him. That person who can't hear her even though she's calling. That kind of person exists. In all her life, she dedicated her love to that person. In all her life, she never shifted her eyes to look at others but him. He was everything but hers. He was aware of her feelings but he didn't care and that was what made it painful. 

She would ask herself, "Is this what love is? The more I feel it, the more it hurts." She didn't understand. Nobody did. But she just couldn't find a reason why she loved him. She couldn't find even a single reason why she loved him—why she loved that person. Maybe, just maybe one day the fresh wind will blow that reason to her face. Just wait. 

That person, she loved that person. Unconditionally. Until one Christmas. 

He was with someone else. He looked happy because he was smiling. He wore the ring. He was complete in her eyes. But her? She was crushed. She thought she asked Santa to please, just please make that person realize how much he meant to her. But no, the man with white beard may have skipped reading her letter. It hurt. It really did. 

"Does that girl even realize how lucky she is to talk to him and hear his voice everyday?" 

She was fine that Christmas. Smiling with her family, listening to Christmas songs and eating with them during Christmas eve. She was fine. But deep inside her subconcious, she knew she wasn't happy. She knew there was something wrong with her life. Which she didn't know what. 

What is the true essence of Christmas, anyway?

"I don't know..." she whispered.