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Am I that selfish? Am I a self centered person who always ends up hurting people?

I love my friends. We have fun together and I like them, we rarely fight. they always tell me I'm hyper no matter what I do and at lunch when we begin to discuss things, the matter sometimes gets out of hand. Even I can get mad, you know. Even if I can and want to do I rarely ever argue with them. I can get my point out quite well of the people understand what I'm trying to say. But even if I'd clarify my point of view, it wouldn't matter anyway since they won't agree. 

I don't want to sound snobby but in certain matters I'm more intellectual then them. If it gets to an area where I can take a stand and have an argument with them, then I will. But it really wears me out. 

People who know what I'm talking about who will let me talk without interrupting me, whom I can have a proper, real conversation with without feeling stressed, unnerved and left out... I long for that. 

But I'm just being selfish. I can't and cannot accept the fact that I had met such a person and that I ended up pushing them away. 

Because I am selfish and in the end I always end up hurting people. 

i hurt you... 

My only hope is that one day I can reach out to you and tell you that I'm sorry.

i know you won't believe me.

even so maybe somewhere deep in your heart you realize that I'm telling you that truth. 

-Oktober