Infertility

A boy came up to me. "Do you know where my mommy is?" I felt like I had tripped. I start looking around. A young woman was walking up to us. "Is that your mommy?" "YES! It is! Thank you." And the boy ran up to his mom with a smile. I felt an ache in my tummy. I walked right out of the park. Walked? I almost ran. I felt tears running down my cheeks. I wanted to get home. I couldn't take it anymore. I cried and cried. And when I came home I locked the door. I stood there breathing hard. You could have compared me to a hunted animal that finally got safe. I walked slowly up to the couch, bumping stuff like tables along the way. I turned on the TV, but couldn't see anything off it through my tears. I heard the doorknob turning. "Honey, it's me. Open the door please." I must have fallen asleep. My tears had dried up. I unlocked the door. "Here you go, my love, I bought some roses to cheer you up." "Thanks, hubby." I kissed him. He always brought something with him after my miscarriage. He knew how heartbroken I was because of it. He walked up the couch. "Come here." I placed myself next to him. He took me in his arms. I guess he had seen the grief in my eyes, because he didn't say anything. We sat like that until dinner. We ordered some pizza. I went straight to bed. In my bed I was thinking. But all I could think about was my dead child. The normal question was always on my mind, why me. Of course we tried again, but it was never successful. One day we wanted to get ourselves tested. The result hurt the most. I was infertile. And yes we tried adoption. But because of my mental state we weren't qualified. I kept thinking this over, I did every night. My husband came to bed. After hours I could fall asleep. 
My husband had to work today, so I was alone at home. I am an artist; I can choose my own hours. I only had 2 customers in the afternoon. In the evening I went to my shrink. I told her everything that happened on the other day. I asked her why after 5 years I still was in this condition. Why I am not making progress. She said everyone has their own time, one longer than another. With this I got back home. Not much enlightened. When I got home I smelled something delicious. My hubby made dinner. I smiled. "Greetings, young lady, would you like to take place." he said in a very charming way.  We sat at the table, laughing and joking. At the end he brought me to bed. We went to sleep together. Although I have been in pain all day, we made the best of our life. Well, we tried.