First Letter

Dear old love,

                Okay, that’s too cheesy, I know. But uhm . . . I couldn’t think of any more names I can call you. It’s not that I don’t want to speak of your name—or maybe I really don’t because you of all people know how much just your name affects me. So uhm . . . I really don’t know what to say. It’s just that, it’s hard for me to express myself in words. It’s like the first time we met. I could still remember the days.

                I was just a 12-year-old kid and a transferee. Well, lucky for me that I got into this prestigious school you call hell and met you. It was a Monday morning; I was late for the orientation program for the freshies. I hadn’t noticed you but your eyes were glued to me. How did I know? Because I could feel someone staring after me as I went upstairs to the AVR.

                The next days were like hell to me just like what you said. I didn’t have many friends but hey, I met a girl named Anna. She’s really beautiful and I didn’t know why you didn’t look at her just like how you looked at me. So, Anna approached me first. She invited me over to their table where a girl named Rei was sitting at. I didn’t go, though because I still preferred to be alone that time.

                That night, at the dorm, there’s a welcome party for the freshies. It was really welcoming and a great way to interact with others. I wasn’t comfortable with the idea at first but what could I do? I was just a powerless freshie and you were in the school longer than I had been. So I went. It’s not really that formal. I was in my black-and-white checkered dress and people were in their pajamas. I should be ashamed because I stood out the most. So I sat at the farthest end of the room and lucky me, Anna was there. With Rei of course.

                An activity in the party required a pen and a paper. The seniors gave us papers to be signed. They told us we should look for people who fit the description on the box and let them sign it. And that, dear, was the start of our story.

                “Handsome guy,” I read the first words I saw on the paper. “Handsome guy?” I repeated with a high tone of doubt in my voice. Had I read it right or was I just making an excuse to get to you? But I didn’t. The words were there and I ignore them.

                I looked everywhere. I had people sign my paper. Everything was filled up but that one last box. I couldn’t tell. I didn’t know how to look for a person who fitted that description. How could I when I barely had a night in the school?

                And like lightning, an electrical shock within me sent shivers along my spine as I felt someone staring at me. I wasn’t sure if I should just ignore it just like what I did to those words or turn around to see who it was but I didn’t have to make myself sure.

                “Okay,” I heard one of the seniors said. “Time’s up! The game’s over; we already have a winner!”

                I looked at the person speaking. She was a senior, I could tell from her looks and the way she spoke to people. Her eyes hinted delight and content and maybe because people participated in the activity she proposed. A paper was in her hands and she held it up for people to see. A guy (or a gay, perhaps) was excitedly standing beside her as he (she) waited for the announcement that he won.

                The night ended with a prayer. I was one of the last ones to go up to our respective rooms. People were piling up and the boys were in a line to go out of the girl’s dormitory where the party was held. But then, I saw you. You were standing by the door, staring right back at me. Your gaze was like magnet and I found myself unable to cut the connection. People were patting you at the back as a sign of greeting and a farewell. You barely smiled at them and oftentimes you just nodded your head but you didn’t take your eyes away from me.

                Your arms were crossed over your chest and a leg was up to support yourself. I didn’t know how to react at the time and I just watched you staring at me. Until the last boy was out and you put up a hand on your forehead and saluted at me. I couldn’t take it anymore. When you stepped out of the room, I breathed out a breath I didn’t know I was holding for so long. But then, over the tinted glass doors, I could recognize your silhouette glancing back at me and saw the smile of yours in the shadow.

That night, Seth, changed my life forever.

You made my night.

Love,

Ria