Chapter 1

Hate

“Once you’ve learn what hate is, love would not be far off.”

        “Dear Alice, I love you. I always have and always will. From the very first time I saw you, I fell for you immediately. Whenever you laughed, I would always find that a smile on my face. Whenever you cried, I could feel my heart rip into two. Whenever you talked, butterflies would form in my stomach. Whenever you grew angry, I felt like killing myself. Whenever you smiled, my heart would beat so loud that I would have grown deaf. Whenever you were close to me, I thought that my heart would stop. Whenever we touched, I thought that I would have melted from your warmth. I love you. I may sound so greasy with all the things I’ve said so far, but it is the truth. I love you, remember that.

        Oh! I remember the first time I met you. I woke up in your bedroom, alone in the dark. At first I thought I was kidnapped by some weird person but then, you came through the door with a tray full of delicious food. I was utterly surprised by your sudden appearance that I fell off your bed. I must have looked like an idiot, but at least you laughed. I swear, just as you laughed, my heart skipped a beat. That’s when my feelings for you started to develop. Ever since that day, I have been more conscious of myself and tried to avoid looking like an idiot, which I think has failed. I must have looked like some love struck idiot, which I was. I love you. That must have been the third fourth time I said that.

        Ah, it must be really dragging to read this letter, isn’t it? I’m sorry if so. I know that you don’t like reading that much. I remember you say that the only time you would hold a book is when you would throw it to someone, and when you said that you were holding one and I was the only person in that room. And by the way, that book really hurt. It hit me in the face. At that time, it was when I first realized that I already loved you. The moment you asked if I was okay, that if it hurt; that was the exact moment that made me realize something; that I loved you. 

       Okay, now I know that you’re getting bored from reading this because my hand is aching. But, that’s okay because I really wanted to write this letter. I wanted you to at least know that I love you. I will and always will love you, even until death. Ironic, isn’t it? That is, I’ll forget all of this when my birthday comes. On the day I should spend time with the person I love the most, I would actually leave her. It’s saddening, but I’m okay. I’m happy; happy to have met you. It’s already 11: 55 p.m. I have only 5 minutes left so I’ll wrap this thing up. I could actually hear your steps from the stairs. Anyways, I love you. I love. I really do. I will always love you. Even if I forget everything, I just want you to know that I love you. And, Alice, I hope that you loved me too. Love, Jae. P.S. I love you and sorry for annoying you. I swear, this will be the last time.”