How the Distance Tricked Us

Senior year was supposed to be full of exctitement and happiness. So why was it that William felt sick to his stomach as he waited for Sisky to arrive? He took another deep breath and slowly let it out. It did nothing to help. He shifted his backpack on his shoulder and chewed anxiously at his lip. His phone vibrated against his hip. He pulled it out and couldn't help a smile. He could never seem to help a swell of happiness whenever he was involved. William knew he should hold his heart closer and brace himself, but he couldn't seem to manage it. His heart was already out in the open. He counted hours. It was six in the morning where he was. Six, seven, eight, nine. It was nine on the east coast. He slid his phoone open and quickly keyed a response to his... Well he wasn't quite sure what to call Mike. They had been friends turned lovers, but Mike Carden was gone now. They had known the end of the summer would be the end of the relationship, but William couldn't seem to wrap his head around that fact. There was no shift in the way they acted now. Everything was still the same. They still texted and wrote and talked. They still called eachother lovers out of convenience, but it echoed in Williams head. He felt as if they were still together. He had wanted to suggest that they simply have an open long distance relationship, but he had been afraid of the possible response. He knew he was setting himself up for being knocked down badly, but he couldn't seem to help himself. He couldn't shake the notion from his mind now that it was implanted there. He typed a quick response and rand his fingers through his hair. It was the only change about him, the shortness of his hair, his narcissistic personal symbol of his self-proclaimed "death". He was no longer the person he was at the beginning of the summer or at the end of last year. He had been left alone too long. He doubted anyone would notice this change. It was even less likely they would know what it meant, but that wasn't the point or so he told himself. The symbolism was for himself. The deliberateness of his actions let anyone see him, yet no one at the same time. It was a way to confuse everyone while being able to claim that he was an open book. Either way he liked the way it looked.

A honk sounded from the front of his house. William hastily shoved his phone back into his pocket, readjusted his backpack and exited his house. Sisky's dad was taking them to school today. How pathetic was it that they were seniors and they still needed to get rides from Sisky's parents. William feigned a smile to Sisky as he sat in the car. Sisky nodded and accepted the smile as true. William held back a sigh at his friend's obliviousness and secured his headphones into his ears.He switched through songs rapidly until he found a melancholy ballad. He listened to about half of it before he switched the song again. This was sure to be a long day.

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Eight period had finally come. William liked his schedule. He loved it, actually. He only had seven classes and he had Theatre 3, the class he had now arrived to, with Patrick and Travis. He felt bad for Gabe who had been stuck with Ryan in the fourth period Theatre 3 class, but that was of no consequence now. It had been a surprisingly good day. Even now, the class filled with kids and the ones he didn't know seemed pretty alright for the most part. Hayley was in the class. William had hugged her the moment she had entered the door and admired her Dr. Who shirt. William glanced at the door again and saw none other that Ryland Blackington entering. He let out a jovial cry and went over to hug Ry. William had a great feeling about his theatre class and about the year now. It wouldn't be anywhere near as bad as he had feared. Mr. Way took roll call and stamped their cards. William talked to Travie and Trick. The first day ended and they all went home.

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William went straight to the computer when he got home. He logged on to Skype and glanced at the time. Two. Two, three, four, five. He would be on soon. William went on Tumblr to wait. When he woke up from his stupor of gifs and memes he checked the time again. Six. Six, seven, eight, nine. At that moment he recieved a message. He smiled and went to typing with Mike. They had a video chat. William tried to tell Mike about his day, but Mike was distracted. He seemed busy and William didn't understand why Mike would offer to Skype if he was busy. William was getting annoyed and his mic wasn't working. Finally with a frustrated sigh he told Mike he was going to go and ended the video chat. He wasn't angry, he was sad. He missed Mike, and felt like a carrot had been dangled in front of his face, just out of reach. Why had he offered if he was busy? And now Mike was angry. William was tired. He typed everything he felt at that moment and clicked send without a thought. Just like that they were fighting. His body felt heavy and dull. It was late, he had to wake up early tomorrow. He didn't want to do this right now. He signed off Skype and headed to his room. He curled into his bed. He felt the buzz of the phone against his side. Mike was really angry. They should talk, but William's sister was on the computer now. Mike called him. He let loose. William knew all of the things he was saying. It hurt. He knew that Mike would see other people, he had planned on doing the same. He wasn't trying to make Mike feel guilty. Didn't Mike know he cared? That he was happy for Mike. That he only wanted good things to happen to Mike. William was shaking. He started yelling back. He was sure his mother and sister would hear, but he couldn't help it. It wasn't fair. Why should William get all the blame? He wasn't trying to make Mike feel guilty or hurt or anything, he was just trying to communicate. They had never done that enough. And now everything was coming out. Mike was invalidating everything William felt. So what if it was high school, did that mean that William didn't feel things? High schoolers can't be in love? There it was, goodbye. There was a sense of finality. William couldn't seem to stop shaking. He closed his eyes longing for sleep and for oblivion. He felt ill. He stood and frantically found music to help. Sleep finally came, dreamlessly and comfortingly.