Chapter Nineteen

Author’s Note: This story is set in an alternate universe, in an imaginary town and country, and during an ambiguous time period.

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Kazir’s focus was abruptly interrupted when his coworker, Mosi, leaned over from his cubicle. “Hey.”  

“Hi,” he said, startled.  

Kazir was still surprised whenever his coworkers talked to him. It’s like the wall he had built up for the four years he had been working at the company had finally shattered, and his coworkers were slowly warming up to him. He wished he had been in a better mental space to enjoy his budding work relationships.  

Mosi grinned openly at him and asked, with a hint of enthusiasm in his voice, “Are you free to join us for a group dinner tonight?”  

Kazir’s heart sank at the thought. He immediately shook his head. “Sorry, no, I can’t. I have too much work to catch up on.”  

“Come on, man. You can’t stay cooped up working nonstop.”  

He smiled cordially at him. “I wish. Plus, I need to get up early tomorrow,” he replied, the excuse feeling painfully true but masking a deeper reason. The last thing he wanted was to run into Adisa in a social setting where they would be forced to interact. He had even been avoiding his cycling club, which felt so wrong. Cycling Saturday mornings with his club had been such a staunch part of his life for years now, and doing it disrupted not only his weekend but his whole week.  

Mosi, however, wasn’t easily deterred. With a playful smirk, he leaned closer and said, “Come on, Kazir. Adisa will be there. He’s your friend, right?”  

The mention of Adisa sent a shockwave through Kazir. Did everyone in the office know about their so-called “friendship”? He felt heat rush to his cheeks, flushing bright red as he fought to maintain a neutral expression. He forced a smile, though it felt tight and strained. “I really can’t, Mosi,” he insisted, trying to sound more convincing.  

Mosi sighed dramatically as if mourning the loss of Kazir’s presence. “Too bad! You should’ve seen how many of the beta ladies and omegas begged me to invite you. They were all excited to meet you!”

Kazir’s mind raced as he processed this revelation. He had never paused to consider that he might be popular. While he didn’t think of himself as ugly, he had gotten hints and explicit invitations a few times over the years, but the idea of being wanted, of being someone others wished to be around, was a novel concept. He had always seen himself as ornery and possessed a personality trait that turned others off.

“I’m sorry, but I still can’t go,” he said, shaking his head again, feeling a twinge of guilt. He hated disappointing Mosi, now that it seemed they were being cordial with each other, but until his doctor’s visit, he needed to ignore Adisa.  

But Mosi wasn’t giving up that easily. “Okay, but promise me you’ll come out with us next time. You can’t keep hiding away forever!”  

Kazir begrudgingly agreed, his words feeling heavy on his tongue. “Fine, I promise,” he muttered, knowing deep down that it was easier to give in than to face the consequences of continuing to isolate himself.  

As Mosi turned to head back to his own work, Kazir felt a mix of apprehension and relief. He didn’t want to deal with the complexities of his feelings for Adisa, especially not in a social atmosphere where everyone could watch. He returned to his tasks, but the thought of Adisa lingered in his mind, intertwining with his resolve to keep his distance.  

What were his plans for after he got his medication under control?  

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Almost three weeks had passed since Kazir had started avoiding Adisa, and the distance was weighing heavily on him. He had tried to convince himself that Adisa had probably not noticed his blatant attempt at avoiding him, but when he received a text from Adisa Saturday morning, his heart sank.  

Placing his mug of coffee on the table, he read the text.  

Adisa: Good morning. I hope all is well. I’ve been thinking that it would be for the best if I were to drop out of the cycling club. It seems like my presence is making you avoid your club. I don’t want to intrude and make things difficult or uncomfortable for you.  

Kazir stared at the message, a wave of guilt washing over him. He couldn’t let Adisa think that he was the problem. Quickly, he typed a response.  

Kazir: Good morning, and no, I’m not ignoring you! I’ve just been dealing with some health stuff, which is why I haven’t been around. My schedule is finally clearing up. Want to meet up next Friday?  

After hitting send, Kazir felt a mix of relief and anxiety.  

His schedule would be cleared up the following Thursday; his project would be submitted that day, and the Wednesday before, he would finally be able to visit the doctor. He hoped his appointment would yield the answers he needed regarding his health. If everything went well, he would finally feel confident enough to meet Adisa again without the weight of his fears holding him back.  

His phone buzzed almost immediately, and Kazir’s heart raced as he opened Adisa’s reply.  

Adisa: Can we really meet up next week?  

Kazir: Yes.