Chapter Twenty-five

Author’s Note: This story is set in an alternate universe, in an imaginary town and country, and during an ambiguous time period.

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Adisa: I’m glad you’re feeling better.

Kazir sighed and slid his phone back into his jeans pocket without replying. He squirmed in his seat, a deep frown etched into his face as he stared at Dr. Lim.  

His heat had lasted almost two weeks, and even though he hadn’t wanted to involve his parents, after the first four days, Soojin had let it slip, and his mother came over to his apartment to care for him.  

Kazir was beyond mortified, but he was glad it was now all over. Now he just had to brace for work. Though he knew his medical records were protected and he had nothing to worry about, he also knew his colleagues were not stupid and were probably speculating.  

He was embarrassed enough to ignore Adisa, even over the phone.  

The sterile scent of the clinic did nothing to calm his nerves, and he shifted uncomfortably in his chair. His last heat had been a nightmare—violent and terrifying. He and all his loved ones agreed he needed a higher dosage of his medication or a new brand of suppressant, per his mother’s suggestion.  

“Kazir,” Dr. Lim started, “I’m afraid I can’t increase the dosage.”  

“But—”  

Dr. Lim shook her head, her expression firm yet compassionate. “It’s too dangerous. Your body is already showing signs of strain from long-term use.”  

Kazir clenched his fists in frustration. “I don’t care. I can’t go through that again.”  

“I understand,” she said, her voice gentle. “But what you’re asking for isn’t a solution. I suggest trying a new medication.”  

Kazir sighed loudly. “Okay. When—”  

“Kazir, this will require a detox from the inhibitors you’re currently on, but it’s a safer option.”  

The thought of detoxing, of being vulnerable again, sent a cold shiver down Kazir’s spine. “I can’t experience another heat, Dr. Lim. The last one…” His voice faltered. “It was violent and scary.”  

Dr. Lim looked at him thoughtfully before offering a suggestion Kazir hadn’t expected. “Kazir, there are non-suppressant options.”  

“Huh?”  

“Listen.” She fully turned her body toward him and locked her fingers on her desk. “Have you considered pheromone therapy?”  

“Huh?”  

“Many omegas will spend their heats with an alpha—”  

“No!” He recoiled instantly. “I don’t want that. I…I don’t ever want to…an alpha. No.”  

“It’s not about intercourse, Kazir,” Dr. Lim said softly. “Alphas have a calming effect on omegas. Their pheromones can soothe you during your heats, making them less intense. Your heats are particularly bad because you don’t have an alpha to help ease the process.”  

Kazir shook his head vehemently. “I’ve spent my whole life passing as a beta. I’ve been fine until now.”  

“Maybe on the surface,” Dr. Lim said. “But your body is telling a different story. You’re pushing yourself too hard. If you refuse to consider this option, I strongly recommend pheromone counseling. You’ve been suppressing your omega nature for a long time, and that kind of stress doesn’t just disappear.”  

Kazir stared at the floor, the weight of her words pressing down on him. Counseling?  

“No counseling. I don’t want nor need to be exposed to an alpha’s pheromones. Can I get a higher dosage?”  

“No. I suggest we try a new suppressant.”  

Kazir sighed loudly, feeling agitated. “And how long before I can start it?”  

“Two weeks.”  

“And…Two weeks? How am I supposed to go to work?”  

“If you feel any—”  

“Inhibitors are fine, but a higher dosage of suppressant is not, Dr. Lim?” Kazir felt exasperated as he stared his doctor down.  

“Kazir. I’m sorry.”

Fuck!  

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________  

Kazir stood in the lobby, his stomach a bundle of nerves as he waited for Adisa.  

After days of dodging him, he had finally texted, asking if they could meet for lunch. He wasn’t sure what he was more nervous about—the fact that they hadn’t spoken in days or the unsettling sense that he could feel Adisa’s presence even before he saw him. Kazir’s pulse quickened when Adisa appeared, walking toward him with that easy confidence. 

An image from one of his dreams flashed before his eyes, making his stomach painfully tighten.  

“Hey,” Adisa greeted with a warm smile, though a flicker of concern shadowed his eyes. 

Kazir shrugged, his throat tight. His gaze flickered away from Adisa’s clear face. 

He angled his head to the side as he said, “How have you been?”  

“Back at work.”  

Thankfully, Adisa had his pheromones under control. Kazir allowed himself to take tiny, steady breaths. He didn’t trust himself in Adisa’s presence, especially after those lewd, torrid dreams that have plagued his night.

He couldn’t keep his eyes away from Adisa’s face for too long. 

“That’s good.”  He smiled, his dimples appearing as soon as they disappeared. He looked awkward and it hurt Kazir to know he was to blame.

Kazir dragged his eyes away from Adisa's lips—those lips that had plagued his dreams.  

They nodded at each other and fell into an awkward silence as they made their way out of the building. The tension between them was palpable. He missed Adisa’s easy going chatter during their walks, his warmth, and his closeness. He even missed the cloying fragrance of his refreshing pheromones.

His eyes flickered to that small, perfectly oval black dot behind Adisa’s ears as they made their silent trek to lunch. His scalp tingled in his shame at the way his body perked up.

They maintained their awkward silence all the way to the closest mom-and-pop diner that Kazir picked for his “thank you” treat.  

At the diner, they sat down, and Kazir forced himself to break the silence. “Lunch is on me,” he said, trying to sound casual.  

Adisa's lips quirked into a teasing smile, and it did things to Kazir. Things he didn’t like. “Why? You got something to celebrate?”  

Kazir dropped his gaze, feeling the weight of Adisa’s attention. “No, just wanted to thank you. For... you know, everything. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long.”  

Adisa waved it off with a flick of his hand. “Forget it. You don’t owe me anything.”  

Kazir swallowed, forcing himself to continue. “No. Really. What you did that day was huge. And—”  

“That’s what friends do, Kazir.”  

He nodded, sucking in his bottom lip. How could he counter that when he had never had a true friend, and the one time he almost did, his body was going haywire?  

“I feel like I should explain.”  

“You don’t have to,” Adisa replied, his tone gentle but firm.  

Just then, the server arrived to take their orders, giving Kazir a brief moment to collect himself. Once the server left, Kazir, feeling the conversation slipping away, dove back in. “I know what you must think.”  

Adisa tilted his head, curious. “What do I think?”  

Kazir fidgeted with the utensils, taking a deep breath before answering. “I’m not ashamed of my second gender.”  

Adisa didn’t respond immediately, but Kazir caught the slight rise of his eyebrows, and panic seized him. “I’m not,” he repeated quickly, his voice more defensive than he intended. “My mom’s an omega, my aunt’s an omega, and so is my sister. I grew up with it. It’s not like I’m trying to—”  

“I understand,” Adisa said, cutting him off with a calm voice. There was no judgment in his expression, just understanding.  

Kazir felt a momentary wave of relief, and when their drinks arrived, he took a sip to ease the dryness in his throat. “Anyway, I just wanted to thank you. For everything.”

Adisa leaned forward slightly—the movement made Kazir’s heart flutter, and he felt heat bubbling inside him—his gaze softening. “I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable around me, Kazir.”  

Kazir averted his gaze and said, “I don’t,” but the words felt weak even to him.  

Adisa quickly added, tapping the table with his forefingers. Kazir’s eyes lingered there; a sick part of him craved to have his hands on him.  

As alarm bells went off in his head, Kazir tried to focus on what Adisa was saying.  

“I understand why you’d want to keep it private. I mean, the world’s not kind to omegas.” Kazir abruptly looked at him, his gaze sharp. “Even I’ve hidden my gender.” He smiled. “You remember when we first met? I mentioned how this happens. Everyone’s had a moment where they’ve hidden their gender—omegas, betas, and alphas.”  

Kazir felt moved by Adisa’s understanding, but he felt compelled to clarify. “I wasn’t hiding. People just assumed I was a beta, and I didn’t correct them.”  

Adisa's brow furrowed, curiosity creeping into his expression. “If you don’t mind me asking, what happened?”  

Kazir shrugged, trying to play it off. “My chip malfunctioned.”  

Adisa’s expression shifted into one of realization. “I see.”  

“Yeah.”  

“Now I have to explain: I asked if you were an omega because I could... I could detect your pheromones.”  

He was an alpha, and if he could smell his fragrance, that meant only one thing as an omega. Kazir felt stupid for thinking he could continue living as he had without anyone finding out he was an omega. He had always just been one medication resistance away. He was glad most of his coworkers were betas, especially his office colleague, but he should have known he wasn’t going to always be lucky. 

Adisa looked genuinely apologetic. “I’m sorry for that. It’s just… I haven’t smelled an omega’s pheromones in a while, so I thought maybe I was wrong. But I was also worried. Your scent was getting stronger every time I saw you, and I assumed your chip wasn’t working right, so I wanted to… make you aware so you could get it changed.”

Kazir blinked, stunned. His heart hammering in his chest, he said, “Wait, you’ve been able to smell my pheromones since… when?”

“Well,” Adisa scratched his head, looking sheepish. “Since we first met. Probably. But I wasn’t sure. I just thought you smelled nice. Detergent, maybe.”

He thought he smelled nice. Kazir fully ignited. His vision blurred and he saw spots. 

Was he that attracted to Adisa that an innocuous comment made him feel weak?

“Oh.” He echoed, his voice barely above a whisper.

Adisa nodded slowly, biting his bottom lip. The action made currents of electricity run down his spine. His heart hammered in the confines of his chest.

This is bad.

“I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, and you said you were—”

He nodded, his heart racing. He knew what he had said. Like an idiot.

His expression apologetic, Adisa said gently, “I’m really sorry.”

Kazir shook his head. “It’s not your fault.” He, too, hadn’t been able to place Adisa’s pheromones at first, perceiving the addictive fragrance as merely lab produced cologne.

Their conversation was interrupted as the server brought their food, but Kazir couldn’t shake the shock.

When the server left, Adisa broke the silence. “So, how’s it going? Did you get your medication changed?”

Kazir nodded, feeling the tension return. “Yeah, I did.”

Adisa frowned, concern etched in his features. “Huh.”

“Huh?”

“No,” Adisa sighed, scratching his head again. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“You won’t, and don’t. What is it?”

“Are you on new medication? Because… if you can’t control your pheromones—”

Kazir felt affronted, cutting him off. “Why?”

Adisa held his hands up in defense. “I’m sorry, but I can still smell a little bit of your scent.”

Kazir’s heart sank. He automatically sniffed his arm, feeling a sudden wave of embarrassment as he shrank back in his seat.

“I’m sorry,” Adisa said again, softer this time. “But since we’re being honest… Did you ever spend time after your manifestation learning how to control your pheromone release?”

Kazir downed his water shakily, avoiding eye contact. “Not everyone has a smooth manifestation, Adisa.”

Adisa’s gaze softened with sympathy. “I didn’t mean to assume. I just thought it was mandatory to spend that year… learning.”

Kazir forced a tight smile. “I’m a first child. My first heat was horrible.” And he wore his parents down with his constant pleas. His poor mother thought, even medicated, he could learn to control his pheromones.

He hesitated, then added, “I’m taking medication now.”

“That’s strange.”

Kazir agreed. “Yeah. Out of nowhere, after twenty years, my body’s just… rejecting the suppressant.”

“Shit. Bro, I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. But,” he said, holding Adisa’s gaze, refusing to look away even though his spine tingled and all his cowardly senses told him to back down. “What happened… it won’t happen again. I truly appreciated your help. You saved me that day, but I will get everything under control.”

Adisa nodded, saying nothing, but his eyes were filled with concern that he couldn’t quite hide.