9 Broken ★ Completed!
by sleepwalker
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angst
original
dark
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Description
They were just not meant to be.
Void, empty, hollow inside
My dreams have fled, my hopes have died
Existence has no reason
Life's just passing with each season
Foreword
title; broken
author; sleepwalker
type; drabble
genre; dark, tragedy, angst
characters; april sun
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Comments
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sophomoric on says about chapter 1:
This is a great drabble though I don't exactly appreciate the message that it sends. It isn't the end of the world when someone you love leaves. And if it is, there should be reasons why. I know this is a drabble but, you should've included that too.
Also, the ending is too abrupt. The last line is supposes to be a plot twist of sorts, but it takes away the flow of the story. There was no foreshadowing. Or maybe it's me, I don't know.
But your diction is amazing. The imagery is vivid.
PyaariSammu on says about chapter 1:
This was beautiful, the characterization was all so spot on and I was blown away, wonderful!
SugarBaby17 on says about chapter 1:
This story was super well written. It held so many emotions in just the little words you had written.
Good, good. xDD
CheqBeah96 on says:
Don't know any other word to say than it's indeed a great story!
nylr_bae on says about chapter 1:
This is so cute..
It reminds me of twilight. .
epicfate on says about chapter 1:
this is really good please make it longer^^
yingjumeihua on says about chapter 1:
This was really nice (slightly intense and a little bit depressing but it was still good). Could you add another chapter or something?
Aoi_Magnolia on says about chapter 1:
Whoa...that was intense. I loved it though. You really have a way of ripping me to pieces XD I swear, you're just plain awesome. Don't ever stop writing!
Pandas on says about chapter 1:
I love how you described her blood here.
The words, "It is a bit too dull for her liking. It needs some color" were horrific.
But you just killed me with the ending. She should have waited just a little! O.O
This is a great story!
peetabread on says about chapter 1:
Woah, I like your writing! You have a way with words. This was beautiful.
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