Hidden feelings

I just wonder... do these people not understand that I’m still a child? do they not understand that even though I look stable, I’m actually breaking down?

I mean I was always building up this fake smile, but has it gotten so bad that no one can see my obvious pain. I don’t even think it matters to anyone anymore, I feel like a piece in space injured alone in darkness and suffering silently. Why every space ship that passes by to ask what I’m doing become lost in the lies of happiness. I feed to them but have the original people who have put me there in the first place forgotten as well. Have they truly been deceived by a simple straight face? or do they no longer care enough to bother and discover my true emotions?

I just wonder what do I really mean to them, and if one day I’ll become so broken and so hurt that I’ll forgot who I really am. Right now I’m hurt, hurt so much and for so long that I became used to the pain. And while it still hurts, I feel like I’ve just let out too many tears for there to be any more, and the worst part is that sympathy will break me down again. I just feel cold, too cold to remember how emotion is suppose too work. I hope this point of depression never reaches a person other than me.