Everything That Is Nothing (but hope)

Tittle: Everything that is Nothing (but hopes)

A story of an average girl who has hope. A story of a guy who has everything but hope. This is the story of me.

This is not a love story nor is this a story about friendship. It's just a story of dreams and passion.

She has nothing, but hope. She's average, but not happy.

He has everything, but hope. He's perfect, but not him.

She has nothing but hope…

Every day, she followed them around hoping someday she will be able to be part of the group.  No, no, she didn’t WANT to be like them. Definitely not. She still wanted to be this kid who is head over heels for animations and watches anime 24/7. Be this girl that screams and drools over guys who do not know she exists. And cried over people not actually “acknowledging” her existence. Yeah, sure they knew that she exists, pfft, of course they would, they shared the same dorm, ate the same time, and talked about her behind her back, literally. Sometimes she wondered if they think she’s deaf.  She’s also a being with feelings!

She hated this, she wondered why she even ever asked her parents to send her here, away from home. Yeah, the “education” might be better than at home, but it’s also closing her dreams that were hidden inside her, not telling anyone ever, away forever - bye bye. By sending her here, her parents have spent uncountable amount of money on her, she wanted now to just rewind time and go back to the deciding point. She wasn’t at all outstanding, nor was she totally talentless. She’s just normal. Average musical talents, average looks, average physical abilities, average academic results, average artistic skills, average confidence. No scratch that, she lacked confidence, that is why she was average, so average that she blended into the crowded pushed and thrown  all over by everyone. She wished that there might be a glint of talent hidden inside her. She wished she wasn't so... average.

She hoped that she could rewind time. She hoped that to the time that she could still create her talent and build it to the point where she will pass it. Yes, her dream… But all she can do is try her best… And hope, that was all she had.

He had everything but hope…

Everyday, he led the group of friends and class work. Praised by people around him, screamed and followed by countless girls. On Valentine ’s Day, getting countless chocolates and cards and confessions from girls - and mind you boys. People admired him, he was perfect, he was everything a guy would want to be and a girl would dream of. He’s the perfect son. Day by day it would be the same, wake up, be the perfect son, go to school, be the perfect student, go home, be the perfect son, and go to bed waiting for the same repetitive tomorrow. Was he tired? No, not really, he wasn’t tired, sure there were times when he was tired. He had no problem being perfect, it was a general fact. But… What is perfect? If only there was a set perfect written down. Her perfect is this; his perfect is that, their perfect is the other thing. How was he supposed to be perfect!? 

He wasn’t tired, how about now? Hella yes he is. His life is practically nothing. He's still the perfect being that guys envy and girls dream of. But inside… It’s just never the same, he wants to do something that defined him as… Him. And yeah, he had found it. It’s not even out of reach. He could do it very well and he stood out, but he knows his life is set out and planned out by someone. His mother, still expecting him to be the perfect son. He never told his mother that he found his passion, the only thing that pushed him to live. Simply putting it as he isstuck - trapped in a white box filled with repetive patterns. For the 18^th year of his life. Been the same and will be the same. There was nothing he could do, he wants to do what he liked but he doesn’t want to disappoint his parents, especially his mother. With her dignity, pride and fame. 

He has the talent. He has the popularity. He has the looks. He has the passion. He has the confidence. Though, he did not have the courage that dared to do further than merely dreaming. To tell anyone, that he wanted to just be him, and do it. He’ll definitely pass; he’ll probably even make it to the ultimate goal. But he was stuck and being dragged down by the burden of expectations, in which everyone thinks is best for him. He was out of hope, and knew that he had none and will never dare to hope.