Because Sacrificing Myself Hurts Less pt. 1

The cold cement chills my toes as I stand surrounded, helpless.

They're going to kill him.

And there's only one thing I can do.

Keep my mouth shut.

"One last time, I will ask you," the general sneers. "Where is he? What are his intentions?"

Like anything I would say would change their mind about him. He is a criminal in their eyes. He is the image of hatred.

How could someone I hold closer than my life be that to these people? They must be monsters. I avert my eyes and keep mute.

"Beat her!"

The first blow almost knocks the breath out of my body. As I crumple toward the ground, I focus on a memory of his smiling face.

The second blow on my calves.

May I have lunch with you?

The third blow on my hips.

You are beautiful.

The fourth blow on my back, and now I'm gasping for air. I can feel blood running over my body, my bones protesting against the impact.

He's too precious to this world for me to be selfish and guard my existence.

I know...I know I'm not worthy enough to wish spend longer time with him. To have more memories...to have more joy...

The world is too unfair for that. And I'm willing to accept that.

I feel life slipping out of me as the soldier lifts his club right above my head. I close my eyes and submit myself to the stillness of the ground.

We will be one anyways.