Psychotic minds

I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia when I was seven years old. It had been suggested to my parents that I might have it from an even younger age, but they had been in complete denial about it. I guess they just needed to be sure in the end, so they had me assessed. It turns out that I had it quite severely. 

I remember sitting in the waiting room of the hospital a few minutes before getting the results. I had this little toy giraffe which I brought with me for moral support, swinging my legs from side to side nervously. I looked across at my mother, only to see her on her phone, texting away, occasionally glancing at the clock impatiently. She always hid behind her phone when she was nervous. I guess it was just her way of coping. We didn’t come here for the assessment you see, and the last time she was in this room, she was about to find out that her father had died.

As I looked up from my feet, I saw a strange man on the other side of the room. He had short brown hair but his fringe covered his eyes so I couldn’t see what colour they were. I got up from my chair, hopping down and going to join him. He seemed nice enough, and I thought he might want some company.

I clambered onto the chair to the right of him with difficulty, swinging my legs in time to the clock ticking. After a few clock chimes had gone past, I heard a strange, deep sound, which was emanating from his mouth. When I looked over to see what was happening, I realised that he was crying. I saw large tears streaming down his face, dropping onto his lap and soaking into his jeans. After a few moments of watching this, I asked him what he was waiting for and why he was crying.

“Well, I am waiting for news of my father. He`s just had brain surgery and I don’t know if he`s okay or not. I`m pretty scared.” The man said, sounding as if he was about to burst into tears.

“Oh, I see.”

I reached over to his hand, tightly clamped onto his lap, and touched it gently for moral support. I had never seen a boy cry before.

“Jangmi! Why are you sitting over there alone? Come back here at once!” I heard my mother shout from the other side of the room. I looked up slowly to see my mother looking up from her phone and staring at me with angry eyes. I thought it would be best not to argue with her at this point. I clambered off the chair I was sitting on and trod back to her, wincing as I was ready for a mouthful of abuse again.

However, my mother surprised me. She helped me up onto my seat, and simply looked a little hurt.

“Why did you go and sit over there? I don’t smell or anything do I?”

“No, mummy. I was just going to comfort that boy over there. His daddy is in hospital.”

“Jangmi, what are you talking about? There isn’t anyone over there. You were sitting alone.”

I looked across the room and saw the boy still sitting there in the same position, seemingly untouched by the shouting match that was going on across from him.

“But he`s right there mum, can`t you see him?”

She looked at me with utter shock. I think that was the moment that she finally woke up from the trance she seemed to be in, realising that I had something wrong with me. She sighed, and looked at her watch.

“That doctor really knows how to make people wait doesn`t he, baby?” She said. I nodded, but I wasn’t really hearing what she was saying. I was looking at the man, who was now out of his chair and climbing up the wall. I`d seen it done before, but this time it was different. He did it effortlessly, dragging his clawed hands along the paintwork, ripping it apart in the process. When he reached the top of the wall, he turned his head around so that he was hanging upside down and staring at me.

He looked so sad, so pale, as if he was about to burst into tears at any minute. He gestured at me to come over, but I shook my head. I knew better than to leave my mother`s side when she was in a situation like this. In response, he began to crawl once more towards me, his face slowly twisting and contorting with anger. I stayed completely still as he dropped down in front of me, pulling his arthritic feet behind him.

He sat there the whole time whilst the doctor was giving us the news, then he ran out in the corridor and left.

Update time! :) Enjoy

Yellowshu4