Diseased.

One-shot #2: Diseased

Started: 9/17/13

Finished: 9/22/13

Note: Originally a short story from a version of one of my AFF stories (YMP). Innovated into a fan-fic itself. Devolved into a one-shot.

Characters: Ri Taehun – girl (doesn't matter anyway since I didn't place their names here)

                 Guy whose name I totally forgot.

                    A beautiful setting orange light cast through the windows on my right. The breezy wind never felt this cold to me. The trees lightly swayed, but the temperature chilled me. I was too immune to know that this was just the fine end of winter and the beginning of spring. Maybe it’s because of this longing I have for a certain someone.

                    A guy I’m sure I won’t be seeing again.

                    I still remember the day I cast my eyes on his sleeping face. I was attracted to him. He was the most handsome jock in my school—yet he also was the hardest headed person I have ever met. I really wonder how such a guy would be the son of a rich company.

                    The breeze became stronger, carrying few leaves into the air, inside the room, one leaf landing on my palm.

                    Ah, yes. That’s because he’s like a leaf. He likes to go with the flow, sometimes he wants to be big and mighty to blow his ego, sometimes he wants to be small and thin, unnoticed just to be alone. He’s rarely himself, but when he is, he dances. He’s my crush, my inspiration. He is the reason why I pursued in my dream until now—and I did, I fulfilled it.

                    I pursed my lips and huffed slowly. The leaf cowered and toppled to the side of my palm, until it flew away. I carried off a sigh along the wind. Looking at the sliding table set on my bed, I slowly opened my laptop.

                    The picture of the both of us welcomed me on the screen. This was the day he saw me. I had purposely been bringing him gifts and food to cheer him up. I just wanted to pull out his little childish heart. I didn’t know the moment he knew I was the one bringing him these little nothings he will hug me tightly—embrace me lovingly, call me to be his.

                    He actually likes me. He treated me like the guy I always wanted to have. He told me that I was special, which was unexpected because I always told myself I was different. He was right. We both discriminate ourselves but we like to compliment others. I really think it’s a reason why we just…clicked.

                    I didn’t know it would last short. The perfection broke once more, and I was the cause of it.

                    Thump. Down the object goes to the shadows seen no more. My hand slipped off the hold of my pen—one I had been holding tightly—and it slid down under the oak cabinet beside me.

                    I have the inability to move. A disease which disables me to control my body. And there is no cure for this. I imagined myself laughing hysterically. But I couldn’t. I didn’t have the strength to exert more effort than simply smile and maintain my independent composure. I knew it was coming, but I didn’t want to believe it—even after he cut ties and left me.

                    I am such a fool. Of course he will be scared. Yet I react calmly about this – I cry softly, I break down quietly…I am left to slowly wilt.

                    But even with the incoming event, I wanted to prolong it as much as possible. I underwent rehabilitee. It was nonsense to others—arms and hands I am only able to move. I aimed to control the movement of my legs, but ended up with small success of speaking—and even this was hard enough for me.

                    I concentrated on using one hand to type in the necessary information. I opened the webcam and prepared myself for a video. I gazed on these etches I’ve done on the table, gathering my courage.

                    These etches mean so much to me. I’ve been meaning to pursue woods craft if performing was not the right path for me. Knowing it was not destined for me, I withdrew from boredom by chipping off little cuts of wood on the side of my table.

                    Five important words were permanently etched – Together we will always be.

                    I addressed this to him. I reflected over a long period of time while slowly marking these important words to the wood. I wanted it to represent my heart, which was imprinted, “tattooed” to be always remembered. I believed in us still. And when I finished this, I believed that this carpentry also cannot replace my love for dancing.

                    Sigh.

                    Shuffling the papers laid on the table, I started the video.

                    Click.

                    I can only speak limited words, so I prepared a video message for him, written in my greatest penmanship.

                    “Hello.”

                    Change.

                    “How are you?”

                    Change.

                    “Are you eating well?”

                    Change.

                    “You’re cured already, right?”

                    Change.

                    “I’m so glad.”

                    Change.

                    “I’m sorry…”

                    Change.

                    “…for not saying about…”

                    Change.

                    “…my disease.”

                    Change.

                    “You did the right choice.”

                    Change.

                    “It’s alright, don’t be harsh on yourself.”

                    Change.

                    “I would’ve done the same too…”

                    Change.

                    “…after knowing the person I love…”

                    Change.

                    “…is going to die.”

                    I paused a bit, gaining my composure after a moment’s time. I looked at the screen and pursed my lips together.

                    “Thank you for being my inspiration…”

                    Change.

                    “Thank you for struggling until the end…”

                    Change.

                    “Thank you for believing in me…”

                    Change.

                    “Thank you for being such a thoughtful boyfriend…”

                    Change.

                    “Lastly,”

                    My fingers trembled upon looking at my weak self on the screen. I flashed the next paper with a quiet contented sigh.

                    “Thank you for giving me the perseverance to continue living life to the fullest every day.”

                    I cleared my throat and slowly voiced out my feelings for him.

                    “Thank…you…for…”

                    I closed my eyes and cautiously held my throat.

                    “…being…alive.”

                    Gosh, I wish I could say so much more to him. I hope this is enough.

                    Tears rolled lightly on my cheeks as I spoke the three words I wanted to say to him the most.

                    “I love you.”

                    Click.

                    This is my last video for you. I tilted my head to smile as wide as I can and wave properly without unconsciously flinging my arms around. This was enough for me. I have done all that I wanted to do.

                    Slowly, I struggled to move my hands. My fingers timidly shook. I fought to the very end for my last hope. I looked foolish, covering the screen to save the file. I shut the laptop, pushing myself to rest lying upward.

                    This is goodbye.

                    I shall close my eyes for a permanent deep slumber. And all that I know to do now was to breath until my last.