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A HOPE AND WISHES THAT NEVER GONNA BE COME TRUE Completed!
by krystalisman
1598 views
| Updated
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Created
Tags
oneshot
family
sad
death
regret
fatherdaughter
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Characters
Yuki (OC), Father, Mother, Brother
Description
A story about a girl who found out that family is important for her life.
she found it very late, so it's kinda like 'karma'.
Foreword
"FATHER!!! FATHER!!!! PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO ME!!!"
you shouted and burst out crying. You never expect it to be like thiis.
now you're very sorry that you treat them that way.
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Comments
Comments are moderated. Keep it cool. Critical is fine, but if you're rude to one another (or to us), we'll delete your stuff. Have fun and thanks for joining the conversation!
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Fantasy on says:
Did you make that picture/poster?
It looks really nice :)
byzelo on says about chapter 1:
It would be nice if you could proofread the whole thing before you post or something.
I find this story confusing as well.
Some parts really doesn't make sense and it all seemed too rushed.
You made it sounded too dramatic with those “NOOO” and “FATHEEERR!” although, well, you're supposed to be but this gets too… unbearable to look at? Caps lock, caps lock!
I like the message in this story though.
Fantasy on says:
I'm sorry but here's some constructive criticism
Read over your work to make sure that it makes sense
Get other people to read it before you publish it
Don't rush the story and put more details into it so that it doesn't confuse the readers
Have fun
Hope I helped and I really enjoyed your story
But it WAS kind of confusing
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