Order In The Court

CHAPTER 11: ORDER IN THE COURT

"You have the right to remain...sexy." one of the officers teased Undyne as they dragged both her and the rest of her four-monster team into the courtroom, removing their handcuffs.

As was already expected, Mettaton was playing the role of judge in this court case.

"Hello, my darlings! I know you've been rather NAUGHTY lately, but you know what? I LOVE me some bad boys. Can't have a properly dramatic and exciting show WITHOUT them, now CAN you?" Mettaton smirked, even though he was STILL in his box form.

"CAN it, tin can!" Undyne sneered, prompting one of the officers to slap her in the back of the head.

"What could you POSSIBLY have that we DON'T?" Alphys begged to know.

"Hmm, let me think...you know what? I could easily name at least one major thing that each of you sorely LACK that I just to happen to HAVE!" Mettaton laughed.

"SELF-ESTEEM!" Mettaton yelled, pointing at Alphys.

"Hey, at least I still get by with a little help from my FRIENDS here! Do you even HAVE any REAL friends, Mettaton?" Alphys defended herself.

"HEY! Alphys, I'll have you know that I have PLENTY of FRIENDS! Just LOOK at all of the dedicated FANS I have thanks to my charmingly brilliant, hilarious and eloquent personality and my DASHING good LOOKS!" Mettaton argued.

"You seem to be confusing FANS with actual FRIENDS, my robot adversary. The former you have in SPADES, but the latter you are SORELY lacking!" Papyrus chuckled.

"Which brings me to a whole bunch of other extremely important qualities I happen to have that you four don't: MATURITY! TRUSTWORTHINESS! SELF-CONTROL!" Mettaton yelled angrily, pointing at Papyrus, Sans and Undyne.

"Hey, the only reason you can't trust ME right now...is because I'm not on your side." Sans growled, his eyesockets going black yet again.

"Anyway, since your four evidently lack the proper sum of cash to afford a proper LAWYER, I'm afraid I had to hire BURGERPANTS, of all people, as your lawyer for today!" Mettaton laughed as Burgerpants walked into the courtroom with a huge set of stitches on his forehead.

"You think you guys have it rough? Try working for THAT son of a bitch your entire life in a fast-food joint!" Burgerpants laughed, pointing his middle finger at Mettaton.

"But what about the whole important structure of defendants and plaintiffs?" Alphys asked Mettaton.

"What the f*** are you talking about?" Undyne muttered.

"Ah, yes, the plaintiffs! EVERYBODY GIVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE TO BRATTY AND CATTY!" Mettaton laughed as Bratty and Catty walked in and took the plaintiff seats while Alphys and friends took the defendant seats.

"We're like, SO totally hyped for the destruction of the defendants!" Bratty and Catty giggled as Napstablook floated in behind them.

"Aw, how CUTE! You brought my best buddy NAPSTABLOOK as your lawyer!" Mettaton laughed. "Way to add a bit of GHOSTLY atmosphere, if I do say so myself!"

"I'm really not feeling up to it right now. Sorry." Napstablook sighed.

"Okay! Without further ado...LET THE TRIAL BEGIN!" Mettaton laughed, slamming his judge mallet to signal that everything was finally ready. "I hope you relish this trial, for it shall be your last!"

"You know, personally, I prefer to relish my hot dogs." Sans chuckled.

"SANS!" Papyrus yelled at him.

"I WARNED YOU GUYS!" Mettaton yelled at the defendants, slamming his mallet yet again. "NOW you'll PAY for your INSOLENCE! WITNESSES! CONFESS!"

"Those psychotic assholes hijacked a freaking taxi and ate the driver's BODY!" a male witness in the audience yelled, disturbingly without displaying actual evidence.

"Hey, we were just doing what was necessary to stop THIS psychotic asshole from turning Christmas into freaking EGOTISTMAS!" Sans yelled at the witness, pointing at Mettaton for clarification. "IRONICALLY, if there's ANYONE who ought to be ARRESTED right now, it's HIM!"

"ME?! Why, you should know by now that I've just been putting on a big SHOW this whole TIME, darlings! I never intended to actually KILL anyone!" Mettaton lied through his teeth.

"LOL! They should have baked his body into a delicious QUICHE!" Bratty and Catty laughed like the pair of stupid rat-creatures they always acted like.

"I don't even know what a freaking quiche is..." Napstablook sighed.

"Son, I've eaten a lot of nasty things in my lifetime, but there's one thing I can say for certain: MONSTERS DO NOT EAT FREAKING QUEESH! OR HOWEVER THE HELL YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO PRONOUNCE QUICHE!" Burgerpants yelled at them angrily, shaking his fist.

"It's KEESH." Papyrus informed him. "I'm pretty sure that that's also how you spell it, too!"

While Alphys was busy facepalming, the witnesses moved on to their next statement against her and her fellow defendants.

"That menophiliac foot-worshipping incident between Alphys and Undyne scarred my poor little darling for life, and now she's literally developed a fear of lesbianism!" a female witness sobbed, burying her head in her hands.

"Well, then, you shouldn't have taken your child to a graphic porno film." Mettaton sighed.

"Hey, at least we washed all the blood off of ourselves afterwards...right?" Undyne argued, glancing over at Alphys, who currently looked like a serial murderer.

"What can I say? I love having a little bit of your DNA on me!" Alphys laughed awkwardly.

"I need an adult." Sans gasped as the witnesses moved on to their next statement against him and his fellow defendants.

"They look WEIRD and they don't BELONG here!" one particularly racist male witness yelled.

"Now, now, isn't that a little...DISCRIMINATING?" Mettaton snickered.

"Not if you're a straight nigga like me." Sans chuckled.

"Or a skinny, noodly white boy like myself!" Papyrus chortled.

"Or a fat, retarded, bespectacled pile of neckbearded, basement-dwelling weeaboo SCUM like ME!" Alphys sobbed.

"Or a dirty, foul, uncouth lesbian SLUT like me!" Undyne laughed uproariously, slapping Alphys on the back.

"Damn, and I thought I was a stereotype..." Burgerpants gasped.

"OMG, we LOVE being dumpster-diving, festering f***wads who'll never amount to ANYTHING in our entire lives!" Bratty and Catty laughed maniacally.

"All this talk, and I'm just sitting here...being a ghost." Napstablook sighed.

"ENOUGH OF THIS!" Mettaton yelled, transforming into Mettaton NEO, which was like Mettaton EX except with bat wings and an arm cannon. "IT IS NOW TIME FOR THE GRAND FINALE! COURT IS IN MOTHERF***ING SESSION, BITCHES!"

"Is that the cheesiest line you've got?" Sans chuckled.