Spooky Scary Skele-Bros

CHAPTER 8: SPOOKY SCARY SKELE-BROS

CHALLENGE #2

"Alright, so...for budgetary reasons, it has recently been called to attention that I need to drastically decrease the length of each individual challenge." Mettaton explained. "In my opinion, this will make much more quick and to-the-point, as well as funnier."

"Sans, I've got a bad feeling about this..." Papyrus shuddered.

"Oh, don't worry, pal it's not going to be something utterly rid-"

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this, Sans, but your next challenge is going to be utterly ri-DICK-ulous INDEED!" Mettaton snickered. "I am demanding that you two suck each other's c***s!"

"Alright, now THIS is just absolutely ri-god-damned-dickulous!" Sans snapped at him.

"Hey! I just used that joke! NO FAIR!" Mettaton cried as Sans and Papyrus immediately attended to sucking the delicious AIR into their mouths.

"Well, that was a bust! Anyway, NEXT challenge!" Mettaton explained.

CHALLENGE #3

"Alright, now you have to perform Drop Pop Candy for the millionth time in the past month...while wearing your Mew Mew Kissy Cutie jackets!" Mettaton giggled, prompting Sans to let out a sigh for another day the same as the last.

CHALLENGE #4

"Now see which one of you two can stack more Philly Cheesesteaks on top of the other's head!" Mettaton laughed, showering each of them with twenty cheesesteak sandwiches.

"NYEH! My ego has its own gravitational PULL, does it not?" Papyrus chortled, stacking 19 Cheesesteaks on top of his head horizontally with the help of some volunteers and a ladder.

"Sorry, pal, but you're just not quite on my LEVEL yet!" Sans winked at the audience, stacking 20 Cheesesteaks on top of his head vertically...with his freaking MIND.

"W-WHAT?! T-THAT'S CHEATING!" Papyrus gasped in shock.

"Well, what can I say? Cheaters beaters, losers weepers." Sans chuckled.

CHALLENGE #5

"Now fly like Superman!" Mettaton commanded the skele-bros.

"HNNNGH!!!" Papyrus grunted, straining both his nonexistent muscles and his willpower as hard as possible...and not even moving an inch off of the ground.

"Sure thing, bucko!" Sans chuckled as he used his levitation powers to fly all the way across the city and back in about 20 seconds flat, causing the jaws of both Papyrus and the entire audience to drop straight to the ground.

"So, uh...what'd I miss?" Sans snickered, giving Papyrus a tissue to wipe the tears from his sobbing, jealous eyes with.

CHALLENGE #6

"Now place MTT-brand advertisement flyers for The Sans & Papyrus Show onto every single building in Philadelphia, one for each!" Mettaton commanded them, providing the skele-bros with two backpacks loaded with the aforementioned publicity flyers.

"Don't worry, pal, we ain't even gonna break a SWEAT. I've got this whole thing nailed down PLACE-TO-PLACE!" Sans chuckled, loading both backpacks onto himself and using his powers to instantaneously teleport to every last building in Philadelphia and then back to the museum, where he slapped the last one onto Mettaton's face.

"IN YOUR CALCULATOR FACE!" Sans laughed as Mettaton just stood there, utterly stunned speechless just as the rest of the audience already was.

"Damnit, Sans, why must you ALWAYS hog all the glory?" Papyrus sighed.

"I guess you could say...Gaster always loved me best." Sans explained, his eyesockets turning empty and black again.

CHALLENGE #7

"Now you must blatantly rip off a world-famous pair of Internet superstars!" Mettaton commanded Sans and Papyrus.

ONE HOUR LATER...

"Alright, here's the very first video of our brand-spanking new Let's Play series on Undertale." Sans chuckled, displaying it on the museum projector.

"Hey, I'm Grump!" Sans' head sang with a JonTron wig, flying in from the left side of the screen.

"I'm Not-so-Grump!" Papyrus' head sang with an EgoRaptor wig, flying in from the right side of the screen.

"And we're the Bone Grump-"

"THIS VIDEO HAS BEEN REMOVED UNDER MULTIPLE CLAIMS OF COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT, NAMELY FROM EGORAPTOR AND JONTRON." YouTube informed them.

"HEH! Serves us right for copying off of two of the greatest men in Internet history!" Papyrus chortled as Sans kneeled down and prayed to the gods that Egoraptor and Jontron might someday allow him and Papyrus to legitimately become the new Game Grumps.

CHALLENGE #8

"Get hit by at least one attack!" Mettaton commanded Sans and Papyrus, attacking Papyrus in the process.

"OW, what the heck was THAT for?!" Papyrus yelled at him irritatedly.

"Did I mention that I FREAKING WANT YOU TWO DEAD?!" Mettaton laughed maniacally, facing toward Sans as he summoned several machine guns, a flamethrower, eight bubble guns, two missile launchers, three baskets of Alphys' dirty socks, and five sawblades from his mechanical body, aimed them directly at Sans, and unloaded all of them simultaneously.

"Guess what? YOU MISSED!" Sans laughed, having teleported all the way over from the plaza to the front door of the museum, RIGHT before Mettaton's attack landed.

"What good is all that fancy attack power if you can't even hit anything, Mr. Genocidal Maniac Magoo?" Sans taunted him. "Come on, seriously, just TRY and hit me."

"I FREAKING GIVE UP!" Mettaton collapsed onto the ground and sobbed. "I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO DEFEAT THAT FRICKING SMUG ASSHOLE!"

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with being a smug asshole, you know! In fact, from my experience, it's actually kind of FUN!" Papyrus encouraged him.

"He's right, you know." Sans told Mettaton, teleporting back to his location. "Honestly, name ONE person who doesn't have a little bit of smug-asshole in him. Or HER, for that matter."

"You talking to ME?" Alphys asked curiously.

CHALLENGE #9

"Sans, tell Papyrus something you've wanted to tell him for a long time!" Mettaton giggled.

"CALL yourself The Great Papyrus again!" Sans threatened Papyrus, tackling him onto the ground. "CALL! YOURSELF! THE GREAT PAPYRUS! AGAIN! I DARE you, I DOUBLE-DARE you, my friend, CALL yourself The Great Papyrus ONE more goddamned time!"

"But...I'm...great!" Papyrus stammered.

"GO ON!" Sans commanded him.

"I'm PAPYRUS!" Papyrus cried.

"Are you as great as you SAY?" Sans asked him.

"NO!!!" Papyrus wailed, quivering with fear.

"Great, that's all I needed to know, thanks." Sans chuckled, taking Papyrus' hands, pulling him back up, and giving him a pat on the back.

CHALLENGE #10

"Now for your FINAL challenge!" Mettaton informed Sans and Papyrus, wheeling himself into the spot right in front of the museum's staircase and displaying what appeared to be a quiz on the projector. "If you two would be so kind, darlings, I think it's about time we played a little game of TRUTH OR DIE! Not yet sponsored by the Supreme Court or any of its relatives."

"QUESTION #1! What color is Alphys' bra?" Mettaton asked.
"A: Blue? B: Yellow? 
C: Pink? D: Red?"

"Uhh..." Sans blushed awkwardly, looking behind him to meet the gaze of Alphys, who formed her hands into the shape of a C while all of the guys crowding around her commented on how big her breast size must be, prompting her to kick their teeth in with a stoic "HMPH!"

"C?" Sans chuckled.

"CORRECT-A-MUNDO! RIGHT AS TITS ON A SUMMER DAY!" Mettaton cheered, showering Sans with fake confetti while Papyrus crossed his arms and scowled jealously.

"ALPHYS! Do my eyes decieve me?" Mettaton gasped as Alphys shot him the middle finger. "This is a FAMILY show! Now stand still while I publicly humiliate you."

"QUESTION #2! Who is the ugliest monster in this question?" Mettaton asked.
"A: You? B: Snowdrake's Mother?
C: Reaper Bird? D: Lemon Bread?"

"Umm...judging from your despicable personality, I'd have to say A! NYEH HEH HEH HEH!" Papyrus laughed.

"DAMNED RIGHT!" Mettaton cheered, showering Papyrus with fake confetti. "ON TO THE NEXT QUESTION!"

"QUESTION #3! What major fetish does Alphys secretly have?"
"A: Sthenolagnia? B: Podophilia?
C: Menophilia? D: Robophilia?"

"P-PLEASE D-DON'T A-ANSWER! I-I'M T-TOO S-SWEATY! I CAN'T B-BREATHE RIGHT NOW! H-HELP ME! S-SAVE ME! P-PLEASE!" Alphys flopped down onto her chest, grabbed Sans' ankles, and begged like a dog; she looked as if she was about to literally melt from sheer embarassment if the correct answer was chosen.

"Y-you know what?" Sans chuckled. "I have no idea what the f*** half of those even mean, so I think I'm just gonna go with all of them!"

"OHHHHHHHH, YESSSSSSSS!" Mettaton moaned. "Oh, and did I mention she is also complete, absolute ANIME TRASH? Allow me to explain all of the above answer choices, along with my aforementioned addition as well as many of her other disturbing and bizarre kinks, in one thoroughly detailed yet professionally concise speech."

ONE MINUTE LATER...

"NO! NO! NO, THIS ISN'T HAPPENING! THERE'S NO REASON TO GO ON! I AM GARBAGE! I AM ACTUAL FISH-F***ING GARBAGE!" Alphys writhed on the ground and screamed, her entire body glowing red and sweating literal buckets as Mettaton smugly imitated the movement of someone's mouth flapping with his hand.

"Don't you think you're overreacting a bit?" Undyne warned her.

"MAYDAY! MAYDAAAY!" Alphys screamed at the top of her lungs, placing the back of her hand over her head and fainting head-over-heels from how much Mettaton had just humiliated her; an ambulance shortly arrived to load her onto a stretcher and take her to the nearest hospital.

"Well, that was certainly something." Sans sighed, facepalming.

"Wow, Alphys really is a freaking WEIRDO, isn't she?" Papyrus shuddered.

"Gee, you THINK?" Sans replied sarcastically.

"AND NOW FOR THE FOURTH AND FINAL QUESTION! QUESTION #4!" Mettaton yelled dramatically.

"Please don't tell me it's-"

"Who does Mr. Papyrus have a crush on?"
"A: Alphys? B: Sans?
C: Asgore? D: Undyne?"

"OH, NO!" Papyrus gasped.

"Well, who do you have a crush on? Come on, don't be afraid to tell me, we're best friends! I won't hold it against you." Sans encouraged him, patting him on the back.

"Uh...nyeh heh..." Papyrus laughed awkwardly as he formed his hands into the shape of a-

"HA, JUST KIDDING, I ALREADY KNEW IT!" Sans laughed. "It's D!"

"NOOOOOO!" Papyrus wailed, covering his face with his hands and blushing intensely.

"Wow, deja vu!" Mettaton snickered. "See, Papyrus? I told you it was obvious. Even this fatass, lazy PRICK here figured it out!"

"Of course he would..." Papyrus muttered under his breath.

"WHAT WAS THAT?" Sans glared at him.

"Yes, indeed, he scrawls her name on the back pages of his coloring books. He names teddy bears and various other assortments of cuddly plush animals after her. He even writes stories involving the two of them BATHING together...in a bathtub FULL of lustrous, noodly spaghetti!" Mettaton snickered.

"Probability of crush: 101%. Margin for error: 1%." Mettaton concluded.

"Aw, who's a sweet little cutie-pie? Yes, you are! Yes, you are!" Undyne teased him, wrapping her arms around him and giving him a sweet bear hug.

"Aww, how CUTE!" Mettaton jeered. "Sorry, boys, but this segment of the show...has already ended! It's about time we MOVED ON from such petty INFATUATION matters, wouldn't you agree? Until next time, folks!"