Let It Snow

CHAPTER 5: LET IT SNOW

The on-foot journey of Undyne, Sans, Papyrus and Alphys through the open, forested wilderness to the urban center of Philadelphia was a very long one. So long, in fact, that Mettaton created a montage of all the long, painful, introspective hours that the four of them were forced to walk alone through the freezing cold woods during.

"Greetings, beauties!" Mettaton greeted everyone in his television broadcast. "Today, I'm going to be singing a beautiful song for you fine, fabulous folk...not that I ever DON'T, am I right?"

"I'm sure you all are wondering exactly what the song of the day is going to be, aren't you?" Mettaton smirked. "Well, fear not, my beautiful friends, because I've decided to pick a song that is amazingly suitable for Christmas! And by pick, I mean blatantly rip off while still getting away with it thanks to my recent licensing deal with Disney."

"Now, as I'm sure you all may have expected, it just so happens that the original song's name is none other than Let It Go...but just for publicity's sake, I'm going to rename my parody of said song to Let It Snow and then sell it as a bonus feature on my upcoming music album!" Mettaton explained.

"It'll be available to everyone who types the password FROZENSUCKS within the next 42 hours, because, after all, you know we can't do this all day, now can we? And so, without further ado, HERE WE GO!" Mettaton finished, showing everyone his latest music video.

"The monsters came from the mountain today, gazing out at everything." Mettaton sang as the video showed Alphys and friends climbed out of the Barrier atop Mount Ebott.

"A kingdom of roads and buildings, and it looks like I'm the king." he sang as the video showed them gazing out over the truly massive landscape of present-day Philadelphia.

"My ego's howling like this swirling storm inside; couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I've tried." he sang as the video showed him transforming into his drop-dead-sexy EX form and showing off.

"They looked so dumb, I had to jeer. For all I know, they'll kick me in the rear." he sang as the video showed him mocking the ludicrous cat outfits that Alphys and friends were wearing.

"Of course there's only one way down the mountain now." he sang as the video showed Alphys and friends beginning to ski down the mountain.

"Let it snow, let it snow; who cares if some people die?" he sang as the video showed Alphys being hit in the crotch with several tree stumps and then rolling into a snowball.

"Let it snow, let it snow; kiss your dearest friends goodbye!" he sang as the video showed Undyne throwing Alphys' snowball across the laser grid at the end of the course.

"In the end, it's a jolly good show; let the press rage on...wherever I am is where neon glows." he sang as the video showed him melting the ice surrounding Alphys' frozen-solid body with his quite literally hot legs.

"It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small." he sang as the video showed Undyne trekking across the open forest wilderness with Alphys in her arms while the skeleton brothers followed along behind her.

"And you keep going even when...there is no hope at all." he sang as the video showed Alphys contemplating suicide over (and also by) the open campfire.

"Determination still holds true...despite the fact that your team sucks!" he sang as the video showed Alphys attempting to cook instant noodles over the campfire without using a pot.

"And if you want my autograph...five bucks!" he sang as the video showed Sans poofing out his pockets to show that there was absolutely no money in them whatsoever.

"Let it snow, let it snow; even if you break the rules." he sang as the video showed Sans hijacking a taxi and slamming the driver's skull against the dashboard while Undyne impaled him with a spear, prompting Papyrus to eat a plate of spaghetti with the driver's eyeballs in it while Alphys, Undyne and Sans feasted on the rest of him.

"Let it snow, let it snow; at least you aren't fools!" he sang as the video showed Sans commanding the GPS system to take them to the nearest hotel with his mind.

"In the end, it's a jolly good show; let the press rage on." he sang as the video showed them driving across the Benjamin-Franklin Bridge and realizing that Mount Ebott had actually been located in New Jersey all this time.

"I am the greatest robot superstar who ever lived!" he sang as the video showed his EX form moonwalking across Abbey Road.

"And for this Christmas day, I'll give you all the greatest gift!" he sang as the video showed him riding through the sky in a rocket-powered sleigh as colorful presents rained down onto the city below, reminding everyone that it was actually the night before Christmas.

"And if you think that my show will not be a blast...go buy my calendars, stop living in the past!" he sang as the video showed an advertisement for his MTT-brand automated calendars.

"Let it snow, let it snow and I'll rise like the star I am!" he sang as the video showed him flying through outer space and leaving a beautiful sparkly rainbow trail behind himself in the process.

"Let it snow, let it snow; I'll shower you with ham!" he sang as the video showed him shattering every single window in Australia's Sydney Opera House into pitifully miniscule pieces with his absolutely godlike singing voice.

"In the end, it's a jolly good show; let the press rage on...wherever I am is where neon glows." he sang softly as the video ended with the starry night sky of Philadelphia being filled with a simply gorgeous rainbow made out of Mettaton-shaped fireworks.

"T-that...w-was...s-so...b-beautiful..." Alphys gasped, her jaw still wide open about ten minutes later, even after everyone else in the hotel room had already gone to sleep.

"Alphys, for the love of spaghetti, he's the BAD guy, remember?" Papyrus reminded her while sleeping in bed.

"YEAH, Alphys, REMEMBER? OWWWWWW!!!" Mettaton chortled.

"I just really don't want to kill such an amazing performer..." Alphys sobbed, burying her head in her hands.

"I don't want to have to kill genocidal maniacs either, but you know...they're freaking GENOCIDAL MANIACS." Sans reminded her.

"Very well, then..." Alphys sighed as Papyrus tucked her into Undyne's bed with a hug and a kiss...except that skeletons can't kiss people, so he really just accidentally bonked his head against hers.

"Looks like that knocked her out...COLD." Sans chuckled as everyone fell asleep and awaited the next day.

"Hmph...if it's a show they want, I'll GIVE them a show." Mettaton EX smirked, peeking through the window to make sure that everyone was asleep.

"My plan is already coming together like the absolutely DELICIOUS ham-and-cheese sandwich I am! Goodness, this is such a WONDERFUL turn of events! The fame...oh, the glorious fame...I can almost TASTE it!" Mettaton EX cackled, licking the window for dramatic effect.

"WHAT? A GLORIOUS star like myself isn't allowed to give his resident city's windows a little SPIT-SHINE every now and then? BLASPHEMY, I SAY! NOW I SHALL SPIT ON YOU!" Mettaton EX laughed, hocking up a motor-oil loogie and spraying it all over the screen of the camera that just so happened to be recording him in his live broadcast at the moment.

"GOODNIGHT, EVERYONE!" Mettaton EX laughed, sticking his tongue out and then flying away to prepare for the astonishingly massive new day ahead of him.