Calling sleepwalker

and then she found the light

Reviewer: BeHappy

Title (10/10pts): The title sounds like a story in which the main character find something or someone that brightens up their life, which was previously a mess. Let's see if I'm correct! (I usually grade titles before I read stuff to see if it makes sense. xD)

Graphics/Trailer (5pts): Do the colors, pitcures, quotes, etc, match the feeling of the story? Quality? Is there too much writing? Is the poster/background confusing to look at? Can it be related to the story?

Description & Foreword (15/15pts): They are very short but it's a reasonable kind of short. For the description, I feel like it's one of those moments in a movie when someone's life just flashes by. 

Characters (10/10pts): I didn't find anything incorrect about the characters since there's pretty much only one character you're focusing on. 

Plot: Is it interesting? (Yes): Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! YESSSSS!!!!!!!!!! Being a previous bully victim (I'm pretty sure there are MANY others out there), reading about someone's story as a victim is interesting. The reason being, most of us think "Did we suffer all the same?", "How do other people fee when they're bulliedl?", etc. In addition, it's not always easy to just talk about bullying and how it feels, and all the emotions involved. 

Mechanics [Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Syntax, etc] (20/20pts): I didn't notice any errors. 

Flow (10/10pts): Everything flowed well. Given that it's an autobiography about bullying and it gives off a gray, dreary feel, transition from one event into another isn't something readers would pay great attention to as they would an adventure story. 

Visual things (9/10pts): The print in the description was pretty small. 

Ending (15pts): (The ending is extremely important! You can rock the story, but bomb the end.) Does the ending make sense? Was the story wrapped up well? If a cliff-hanger was used, was it successful?  *Only graded if story is finished*

Bonus (10/5pts possible): Making this bonus a bonus-bonus! The plot and story idea was IMPRESSIVE!

Extra Comments/Notes/Author's Comment:

Thanks for requesting and don't forget to upvote the shop!

If it wasn't for your comment on FFO Peeves about title capitalization, I would have probably knocked off a few points, but now I have a different POV of story titles. Also, I loved the idea about expressing bully situations~! 

Also, the password is PEANUT because...lol I don't know. For our review shop on AFF the password is peanut, lol. 

Well...I do love Snoopy, so...peanut? Idk.

I know you asked for contructive critisicm, but there really just isn't anything to point out! You're a wonderful writer! Keep up the good work!

Btw, you're on our featured list!

Total: 74/75

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