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by BeHappy
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Cigarette Smoke
Reviewer: BeHappy
Title (8/10pts): Hm...I like the title! Just looking at the title, it seems very poetic, probably because it reminds me of the poetry collection Smoke Signals written by Charles Johnson. However, looking at the title and the description and trying to relate one to another, they just don't click.
Graphics/Trailer (4/5pts): Since "Cigarette Smoke" seems like a title with a deeper meaning to it, the straighforward image of literally a cigarette and cigarette smoke didn't really match. A background would be nice as well.
Description & Foreword (15/15pts): The description sets a dark, mysterious theme and I can't really say anything about the foreword because well...the foreword is just the foreword. xD By the way, if you posted this story on AFF as well, the mods may take it down. Nichiren talked about it. Just putting it out there in case, and no offense meant.
Characters (10/10pts): Since it's short, I can only say the character isn't bipolar. xD You did a great job portraying the character's feelings.
Plot (Yes): Very nice!
Mechanics [Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Syntax, etc] (20/20pts): I didn't notice anything wrong in mechanics.
Flow (10/10pts): Your ideas were smoothly connected and transitioned well. :)
Visual things (10/10pts): The visuals didn't really bother me.
Ending (15/15pts): Nice and short!
Bonus (5/5pts possible): Good job expressing the character's emotions!
Extra Comments/Notes/Author's Comment: I'm sorry this took so long especially because it's just one chapter!
I have to say, I was really surprised when the drabble was literally about cigarette smoke. xD By the way, your story is in our "featured" section of the review shop!
Total: 97/100
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Comments
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ByungKitty on says:
happy late birthday~ :3
snowflakes on says:
I've request a review for my story, thank you! :)
jj_maple on says about chapter 7:
Thanks for your review ^^
I didn't mind waiting at all.
yingjumeihua on says:
I requested for one of my stories.
lostreader on says about chapter 6:
omg, I don't think I ever got such high score *^*
Thank you for the review and I don't mind waiting! :D
I'm going to credit now :3
FTisland_BigBang on says about chapter 5:
tnx! I'll try to improve it :) did I put report? @_@ I just rwalize that... Thanks again :)
lostreader on says:
I requested :3
sleepwalker on says about chapter 4:
No way! I've never received a score that high before LOL (probably because I rarely request reviews). Thank you for taking the time to review my story. May I ask you something? Did you think my chapters were too short?
Ah, I'm glad I could show you a different perspective on capitalization of story titles. And lol Snoopy is great xD I just found it random haha
Again, thank you for the review! I'll make sure to request in the future.
mafalda on says:
Requested~! :D
Cremeplan42 on says about chapter 1:
Want to add another reviewer to the list? LOL. I want to apply.
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